The Dark Fate
by CrashGuy01
Summary: The Dark Master Malecfor has turned the world evil. Crash, friends, and his arch enemies must try to stop this chaos. DISCONTINUED.
1. Chapter 1: Calling For Help

Hello, readers. My name is CrashGuy01 and this is my first fanfic, **The Dark Fate**. (Dramatic music) Norm, Penta, and Yaya will be narrating this story – they should be here by now! My talking is _Italicized. _

Geary (from Crash Nitro Kart), Penta (from Crash Bash), and Yaya (from Crash Nitro Kart [another version] came inside my room.

"I don't remember this on my contract," said Geary.

"_I didn't give you guys one."_

"Do we get paid for this?" asked Penta.

"_Not exactly."_

"Order us pizza," commanded Yaya.

"_You're not in control of me!"_

"Then who is?" asked Geary.

"_I am! Norm, you narrate the story. Penta, you tell the readers the end of each chapter. Yaya, you keep those two in check."_

"Yes, your highness!" said the three. (I hypnotized them into thinking I'm their ruler and to narrate this story. Classic, isn't it?)

"_Here's the first chapter._ _I'll be right back."_

"YES, he's gone, let's order a pizza," suggested Penta.

"Good idea," agreed Norm.

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**Chapter 1: Calling For Help **

It was a nice and swell day at the Mask Carnival at the Motorworld. The sun was shining, people were running, and Aku-Aku was selling graphic novels. A youngster comes up to his stand.

"Hi," he said. "Can I get a graphic novel?"

"Sure!" Aku-Aku replied, giving him a graphic novel.

"Gee, thanks…HEY! This isn't a graphic novel!" the youngster said, showing Aku the inside of the book. The panels in the books were all graphs. The youngster then morphed into a black and purple dragon.

"After fourteen years, I had brought all the books in the world, but never have I been ticked off like this!!!" The dragon was furious.

"I'm sorry!" Aku whimpered hiding behind his stand. "And who are you?"

"Who am I?" the dragon repeated. "Why, I'm the evil Malecfor! Leader of the apes! Straight A accounting AP student! Master of all elements! And the most evil person in the universe! Now, do you have any questions?"

Aku looked like as if he didn't hear a word from the Malecfor. "What did you say? I stopped listening to you after you mentioned your name," the ancient mask said.

Malecfor was so mad, that his face was red and smoke came out of his ears. "ARRGH!" he growled. "This is the last straw! Dave, come here!"

A squirrel wearing a monocle, or eyepiece, came out of the circus tent. His name is SquirrelDave Smartypants, but we'll call him Dave for short. "Yes, master?" the squirrel said.

"Dave," Malecfor said, "install the underground sling psyconometer." Dave stuck a psyconometer in the ground. Soon the clouds above in the sky merged together to form a hurricane.

"I've heard that all masks love peace," said Malecfor. "But let's see if they like evil!" He laughs evilly.

"I must do something about this!" said Aku. He touches the psyconometer and he gets severely electrocuted.

"Sorry," said Dave, "but the psyconometer is off limits. Anyone who touches it will be electrocuted, burned, or frozen and will be cursed.

"CURSED?" Aku repeated. "Well, it can't be that bad." One of his feathers touched a shark tank, causing a hole allowing all of the water to rush out. The shark came out, too, and tried to eat the people at the carnival.

"Oh, no!" said Aku. "I know, I'll find the others and inform them. But how?"

Suddenly, he sees a blue bike. He sits on the seat and the seat somewhat explodes. "Oh well, I guess I'll have to use my kinetic powers."

Aku managed to move the bike, but at a super slow speed. He moved so slowly, a sloth, a turtle, and an old lady on stilts to passed by him.

"Ugh," sighed Aku. "I'll never get them at this speed. I know! I'll call them!"

He goes to a nearby telephone booth. He then picks up the phone and snaps the cord of by accident.

"Whoops!" He sees a man walking by. "Um, hello…" he said to the man. "Can you help me out here, please?"

"Sure thing," said the man. "What do you want me to do?"

"Can you use your cell phone to call one of my children?"

The man got out his iPhone from his pocket and Aku told him a phone number. The man then dialed the number and there was absolutely no response.

"Your phone has been motivated to an automatic voice messaging system," the voice said. "Crash Bandicoot is unavavaible. After the tone, you may leave a voice message or you can press 5 for more options."

The tone was heard. "Hi," Aku said into the phone, "this is Aku-Aku and I have terribly bad news. I caused this dragon named Malecfor to unleash evil upon the world and now I'm cursed! Meet me at the food stand in the fair. We need all the help we can get! Bye!"

* * *

"Good morning and a cockle-doodle-doo to you all, stunt fans. This is Chick Gizzardlips alongside with Stew," said Chick alongside with Stew.

"Are you excited, Chick?" asked Stew. "Crash Bandicoot will make history by sliding down this water slide and into this pool of slime!" The camera did a close-up on Crash.

"Well here he goes!" Crash goes down the water slide, but made a skidding halt when the pool of slime was being sucked into a truck.

"Hey!" Crash barked at the foul reporters. "What is going on here?!"

"Sorry, little fella," said Stew, "but you're too inexperienced to do this."

"Oh, you'll be sorry!!!" yelled Crash. He got a chainsaw, turned it on and chased Stew, who was screaming like a little girl. When the bandicoot cornered Stew, he used the chainsaw to rip off his hairdo. (Hey, that rhymes!)

Chick looks at the camera and says, "And that kids, is why you should never play with a chainsaw.

"PREPARE TO BE RIPPED TO SHREDS!!!" yelled Crash. He attacked Chick, including the cameraman and the people inside the truck. All of the sudden a song was heard. It was Hannah Montana's _Nobody's Perfect_ (this is Crash's voice mail ring tone). Crash picks up his cell pick up his cell phone and listened to Aku's voice message. The only thing he could do was to text his young, but intelligent sister, Coco.

* * *

Coco was bouncing in a bounce house, which was filled with foam balls cheering happily. A group of six-year olds who are also in the bounce house stared at her.

"Um, why there is a teenager in this kiddy bounce house?" one asked.

"I don't know," replied another one. "Let's get her!" So they pelted her with foam balls.

"AHH!" screamed Coco. "I'm being attacked by six-year olds!" She heard a ping signaling that she had a text message. She checked it and then tried to text Fake Crash, but her cell phone was taken by a six-year old.

"Hey!" she screamed. "Give it back!"

"I got her cell phone!" the six-year-old said, holding up her cell phone.

"I got her Nintendo DS!" another one said, holding up a pink Nintendo DS.

"I got her McDonalds's $20 gift card!" another one said, holding up a gift card with the McDonald's logo on it.

Suddenly an ice cream truck passed by. The six-year olds dropped everything and trampled over Coco and exited the bounce house and started chasing the truck. Coco picked up her cell phone and went back to texting Fake Crash.

* * *

Fake Crash was up in an airplane with a stunt daredevil.

"Dude," Fake Crash said to the daredevil, "Are you sure this is safe?"

"Of course!" replied the daredevil. "I did this like ten times!"

Fake Crash gulped and said, "Well, here I go!" He jumped out the airplane screaming. He then pulled out his cell phone and checked his text message and went to text message Crunch and was surprised to see the daredevil right next to him.

"Dude," he said, "use your parachute!"

"Okay!" shouted Fake Crash. "1…2…" It was too late. He landed in the hospital by the time he released his parachute. "…3," he moaned.

* * *

Crunch was at a hot dog stand waiting for the old hot dog man to fix his hot dog. Unfortunately, he was talking a long time to do it.

"Hurry up, fool!" Crunch hollered at him.

"Don't worry," he told to Crunch, "Just wait a minute." But Crunch picked him up and kicked him into the empty shark tank like a football. He then fixed his hot dog himself and got out his cell phone. He checked Fake Crash's text message and went to go and call Von Clutch.

* * *

Von Clutch was at a pitching stand. Kids were looking at him.

"The rules are simple," the vendor told him. "Hit the target to win a prize."

"Can you hit the target, mister?" asked one of the kids.

"Yez! I'm a professional!" replied Von Clutch. He picked up a ball and threw it. The ball landed on the ground five inches away from his feet.

"I did vat on purpose. Let oui try again!"

This time he hit the vendor's eye. "Vat waz an accident. One last time!"

He finally hit the target and the black-eyed vendor gave him a teddy bear. Von Clutch's built-in phone rang. After talking to Crunch on the phone, he called Pasadena.

* * *

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our Freak show. First up in our show, the albino snapping turtle!" An albino turtle came out and people threw popcorn at it.

"Such cruel people," Pasadena said, looking at them. "Do they even care about freaks?"

Her cell phone rang and it was Von Clutch. He told her to meet him and the others at the food stand.

* * *

Everybody met Aku at the food stand. Fake Crash, however, came in sitting in a wheelchair and had a leg cast. He was holding a Hannah Montana doll in his hand.

"Hey, guys," he said, "check this out. I found this Hannah Montana doll while I was coming here."

"Hey!" Crash blurted out. "That's my exclusive one of kind Hannah Montana doll-." Everyone near the food stand looked at him.

"…that-I f-found…in the…trash!" He blushed.

"Wow, Crash," Aku said mortified. "I didn't know you liked Hannah Montana _that _much. Anyways, I have grave news to tell you all…"

End of Chapter 1

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Okay, guys that's a wrap-up! Stay tuned to **Chapter 2: The Misery of Cortex!**

Soon Penta came in the room with a purple penguin.

"Hey, guys!" said Penta. "Meet my nobody, Sheen."

"_YOU'RE WHAT???????????????????"_

"Yeah, while Geary was narrating the story, I snuck into the sixth chapter, stole Sora's keyblade, ate some nachos, and then I stumbled upon this guy." (He points to Sheen.)

Geary came in with the pizza.

"I got the pizza, guys!" he exclaimed.

Penta and Yaya went to go and get the pizza, but changed their minds.

"I don't like pimento cheese on my pizza!" complained Yaya.

"I don't like jalapenos on my pizza!" complained Penta.

"Oh, well," shrugged Geary. "Enough for me!" He ate the pizza in one big gulp. "Wait a minute! I don't eat pizza, and if I did, I certainly couldn't eat it in one big gulp!"

"_Oops."_

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	2. Chapter 2: The Misery of Cortex

Hey, guys! It is CrashGuy01 and here is _Chapter 2: The Misery of Cortex_! Normally, Penta was supposed to be here, but he is hanging out with his "nobody". So now I'm stuck with Yaya and Norm – WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING?!

There, in the living room, were Yaya and Geary are about to roast one of my books in a fire.

"Good morning, CrashGuy01," replied Yaya. "We're just about to roast one of the books we found in your room."

"And I came up of my new e-mail address!" exclaimed Geary.

"_OUT OF THE LIVING ROOM! NOW!!"_Yaya and Norm left the living room.

Sorry about that, guys. Anyways, here is the second chapter in **The Dark Fate**!

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Chapter 2: The Misery of Cortex

Aku told everyone that happened so far in his tragedy.

"So what you're trying to tell of us," said Crash.

"Is that you caused an evil dragon named the Malecfor," said Coco.

"To unleash pure evil upon the whole world," said Fake Crash.

"And that anything you touch destroys, all because of your curse," finished Crunch.

"Yes." Aku corrected. He notices that the hurricane is getting bigger by the second. "Soon that hurricane over there will cover the entire earth. We must go to Gemstone Island."

Everyone looked in confusion. "What's Gemstone Island?" Pasadena asked.

"Gemstone Island is the only island that never rains. Surely we'll be completely safe there."

"A second vought on vat," Von Clutch responded. "HOW DO WE GET VERE?!"

"I haven't thought on that," Aku replied.

* * *

Uka-Uka was waiting for Cortex, who was about to go on a ride.

"What were you thinking?!" Uka barked at Cortex. "What about the airship?!" (Crash Twinsanity)

"No worries," replied Cortex. "The minions are working on it." Koala Kong came by, holding an ice cream cone.

"Why aren't you working?" Cortex asked him.

"Tropy let us go on strike!" Kong answered happily.

"WHAT?" Cortex and Uka said in astonishment.

"It's true!" said Ripper Roo. "He taught me how to speak Britan!"

Angry, Cortex gets off the ride and gets even angrier when he sees Pinstripe and the Komondo Brothers holding up picket signs.

Pinstripe held up a sign in red letters: "Up with Uka-Uka. Down with Cortex." Komodo Moe held up a sign that said, "Dr. Neo Cortex is a perverted yellow-head nerd who picks his nose and eats boogers." Komodo Joe held up a sign that said, "Cortex Stinks (literally). Cortex marched up to Pinstripe.

"Where is Tropy?!" Cortex stammered at him.

"He's selling books about you," answered Pinstripe, showing him one. "See?" The book said "1000 Ways to Make Cortex Miserable". Cortex grabs the book and walks over to Tropy's stand.

"What is the meaning of this?!" he thundered at him, pointing to the book..

"Ah, Cortex!" said Tropy. "So nice to see you. We made over $80,000 from this book." A girl walks up to Cortex and kicks him in his weak spot.

"Take that, you pervert!" she said.

"OUCH!!!" Cortex screamed in pain, hands over his crotch.

"No.167," Tropy said. "Kick Cortex in the weak spot." Several women sprayed Cortex with pepper spray. 'No.889. Spary Cortex with pepper spray." A dragon burns Cortex's wallet. "No.345. Burn Cortex's wallet." A baseball player knocks Cortex out with a baseball bat. "No.252. Knock Cortex out with a baseball bat." The ice cream truck ran over Cortex. "No.930. Run over Cortex." The shark comes by and swallows him alive. "No.1000. Feed Cortex to the sharks."

Cortex comes out of the shark's mouth, gasping for air. "Are you crazy??" He asked.

"Not really," replied Tropy.

* * *

Crash and company hid behind a circus tent, watching Cortex and Tropy fight each other. They tried to run to the airship, but and Dingodile stopped them.

"!" said Crash.

"Dingodile!" said Coco.

"Teddy!" said Von Clutch, tugging his teddy bear.

"That's right, you imbeciles!" said . "Cortex wants us to guard the construction site and we won't let you through—that is, if you know the secret password."

"Nachos?" Pasadena guessed.

"How did you know the secret password, mate?" Dingodile questioned her.

"Penta snuck into this chapter and told us the password." Fake Crash told him.

"And he gave me this cool keyblade!" said Crunch, pulling it out to beat them up.

* * *

Nina and Tiny were at a live concert. The Jonas Brothers were the stars of this concert.

"Nina," Tiny asked, "why are we here again?"

"Because of my evil plan," Nina replied. "You'll jump out of the crowd and kidnap Kevin and Joe while I kidnap Nick. Then we'll go back to the castle and force them to play music for us for all of their lives."

"What about singers?"

Nina was stuck on that one. She said, "We'll get Coldplay and Andre 3000."

The Jonas Brothers were about to sing their song when their stereo was struck by lightning. Soon it started to rain and the concert delayed. Everyone walked away sadly, especially Nina and Tiny, whom went back to the construction site. (I do not own the Jonas Brothers.)

* * *

Crunch was finishing tying and Dingodile to the airship.

"Good work, Crunch!" exclaimed Aku. "Now, before we board the blimp, does anyone have to use the restroom?"

Everyone raised his or her hand. They were just dying to use the restrooms.

Aku sighed and said in a low and demanding voice, "Hurry up."

The gang quickly rushed to their selected restrooms. Fake Crash, however, wandered off and into the females' restroom, where female teenagers acrobats ran away.

"Man," Fake Crash said lovingly, watching the teenagers run away, "they dig me."

"My dad's one of the park drones of the carnival!" one of the teens called out. A group of park drones snuck up on Fake Crash and they used their tazors on him.

* * *

Uka and the minions were entering the airship. The gang finally reached Aku.

"Finally!" yelled Aku. "What took you so long?"

"We had to owe that Monopoly guy three bucks for using the restroom," Crash said, panting.

"And Fake Crash got tazered by the park drones seven times for the eleventh time he's been to the Motorworld," said Coco, also panting.

Nevertheless, Aku was not convinced. "Let's just get inside the airship." Therefore, the gang went inside the airship, just in time before the door closed. Then they walked inside the pilot room, where they saw Uka, Cortex, and .

Uka was surprised to see his goodie two-shoes brother Aku behind him.

"Aku-Aku?" Uka exclaimed. "What are you and your gang doing here?"

"Take us to Gemstone Island once!" Aku commanded him.

"Fine." He told Cortex to tell to fly to Gemstone Island. picked up the intercom and said:

"Minions, this is and I would like to remind you that Aku-Aku has brought his gang to the airship. We will be heading to Gemstone Island, and I want you to be on your _best_ behavior." putted the intercom down.

End of Chapter 2

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Another wrap-up. I sure hope you are ready for Chapter 3: Blimp My Ride!

"Hey!" said a voice.

I looked around and I saw Sora in my room.

"_How did you get inside my room?"_

"Why did you let that guy use my keyblade?" asked Sora, angry.

"_I do not know. That is why I let him beat you up."_

Crunch barged in and beat up Sora while we sat down and ate popcorn.

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	3. Chapter 3: Blimp My Ride

Hello, my fellow readers! This is CyberCrash97. Today, Penta will fight Nitrous Oxide in a no holds barred match - in a cage!

"Where on earth are we going to find a cage?" asked Penta.

"_You're not fighting in any cage, Penta! Your gonna fight in a baby crib!"_

"Ugh."

* * *

**Chapter 3: Blimp My Ride**

It was 8' clock and it rained and thundered. Inside the blimp, Crash, Dingodile, Tiny, and N. Trance were watching a wrestling program on TV.

"Good night and a cockle-doodle-doo, wrestling fans. Welcome to BCW; Bandicoot Championship Wresting," said Chick. "This is Chick Gizzardlips, alongside with Stew. Tonight Stew will announce the wrestlers who will compete for the BCW Championship and the World Super Heavyweight Championship at the upcoming Pay-Per-View, Smashed Up."

"Hooray!" cheered the delighted wrestling fans.

"I didn't know that you liked wrestling, mate," Dingodile told Crash.

"I'm a #1 fan!" Crash responded.

Soon an announcer guy came inside the square ring. "This match is set for one-fall," he said into the microphone. "Approaching the ring first, from Olympia, Washington, weighing 229 lbs, he is the BCW Champion of the world, Jacques Whiplash!"

A bandicoot that was wearing a cowboy hat on his head, wearing spandex with his initials on it and wearing the BCW champion belt around his waist came inside the ring. The wrestling fans cheered.

"And his opponent, from Bujumbura, Burundi, weighing 346 lbs, he is the World Super Heavyweight Champion, Brunei Bujumbura!" A fat Burundian bandicoot wearing red and green spandex pants and wearing the World Super Heavyweight champion belt around his waist came inside the ring. The wrestling fans booed at him. Soon the bell rang and the match started.

* * *

Tropy walked to his room and when he went inside, he saw Fake Crash and Ripper Roo breaking his stuff.

"Hey!" yelled Tropy. "What are you two doing?!"

"Breaking your stuff," replied Roo.

"Why?!"

"Because there's nothing else to do," replied Fake Crash.

Tropy sighed then came up of an idea. "I got an idea!" he exclaimed. "Let's pretend that I'm Fake Crash."

"Can I be you?" asked Roo.

"No."

"Can I be a coach?" asked Fake Crash.

"But why?"

"Because coaches are good managers."

"Sure," Tropy let him take the act. "Now let's get this started." He broke Roo's metal folding chair. "Look. I broke your folding chair. What would you do?" Roo used his broken folding chair to knock Tropy out unconscious.

Roo gasps. "Are you okay, Fake Crash?"

"Tropy," Fake Crash said in a booming voice, "if you don't give me 20 push-ups, you'll be outta the team!" He giggles.

* * *

Von Clutch was playing with his teddy bear, making girly noises with it. Pinstripe couldn't stand it anymore.

"AARRGGHH!!!!" he screamed. "I had enough of that stupid bear." So he grabs the stuffed bear and throws it out the window.

"Teddy! No!" Von Clutch cries. He starts sobbing.

"Well, that takes care of him," Pinstripe said, proud of himself. Then, like a miracle, the teddy bear came back like a boomerang and hit the back of Pinstripe's head.

"Teddy!" squealed Von Clutch. "You came back!"

"Ugh," groaned Pinstripe.

* * *

Crunch and the Komondo Brothers were lying on the floor, bored.

"Man, I'm bored," sighed Crunch.

"Me too," said Komondo Joe

"Me three," said Komondo Moe.

"I know!" suggested Komondo Joe. "Let's make-believe we're Canadians."

"Let's make-believe you never even existed," suggested Komondo Moe.

"Very funny," Komondo Joe said sarcastically.

"You fools are not doing make-believe!" Crunch hollered. "We are gonna take it to the extreme by skydiving!"

"And end up like Fake Crash?" said Komondo Joe. "No way!"

"There's always wall climbing," stated Komondo Moe.

"OR we can do that," Crunch agreed with him.

"You go first," Komondo Joe told him.

"Why me?" Crunch asked.

"Because," said Komondo Moe.

"Fine."

So the Komondo brothers gave him their Arabian swords to climb with. When Crunch started climbing, they were videotaping him with their camera.

"Are you getting this footage?" Komondo Joe asked his brother.

"Are you kidding me?" replied Komondo Moe. "After we're finished filming this, we're gonna put this on YouTube!"

When Crunch reached the ceiling, he opened a latch door and went outside, where there was rain and lightning. A lighting bolt almost hit him, and he falls back down, saying the random stuff he fell into.

"AAHH! MOUSE TRAPS!" He gets caught in mousetraps. "AAHH! JELLYFISH!" He falls in a tank of jellyfish, gets electrocuted, and swims out. "AAHH! CACTUS!" He falls in cacti. "AAHH! SCORPIONS!" He falls on a group of scorpions and they pinched his butt. "AAHH! CONVERTER BOX!"

On the TV screen, they showed Stew being beaten up by the wrestlers who weren't participating in both BCW and World Super Heavyweight championships (I really feel for him.) Crunch lands on the large converter box and lost the signal for the wrestling program. The wrestling fans in the room seethed with anger.

"Oops," Crunch said innocently, then giggles.

* * *

In the infirmary, Coco was aiding Tropy, Nina was aiding Kong, and Passenda was aiding the beaten up Crunch.

"Ugh," Tropy yawned. "What happened?"

"You were knocked out unconscious by a metal folding chair," replied Coco.

"Oh. Is it bad?"

"Yes, and you'll have amnesia for two weeks."

"Great. And all of this wouldn't happened if it wasn't for what's-his-name!"

"You mean Ripper Roo?"

"Whatever."

Pasadena was putting band-aids on the places where the wrestling fans scratched Crunch.

"Good," said Pasadena. "And, while you're busy relaxing, I'll play some High School Musical 3 music for you—"

"MUST DESTROY ZAC EFRON!!!" yelled Crash. He jumps out of nowhere with his chainsaw and uses it to destroy the HSM3 CD and steps on what is left of Zac Efron's face.

"Awkward," Pasadena replied.

Nina puts a thermometer in Kong's mouth and when she pulls it out, she records the temperature.

"Sorry, Kong," she said, "but is looks like you have a cold."

"RATS!" Kong screamed.

"Gee, Kong, you didn't have to scream."

"No! Look!" He pointed and soon Nina saw what he was screaming about. In the corner of the infirmary was an army of rats. They started scurrying around the blimp.

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!" yelled Crash. Everybody was running around the blimp, screaming and being chased by rats—even Shaggy and Scooby were there!

"Like, run Scoob!" Shaggy told Scooby.

"Right behind ya!" said Scooby.

"What are you guys doing in this story?!" asked Fake Crash.

"We got tired of the Scooby-Doo archives, so we visited the Kingdom Hearts and Crash Bandicoot archives," said Scooby.

"I want to review this story," complained Scooby, "but I can't."

"That's because you don't have a FanFiction account," corrected Tiny.

"Everyone knows that!" replied N. Trance.

"RATS!" More rats appeared, and the duo jumped out the airship (I sure hope they survive.)

Suddenly, the rats join together to form a mob that morphed into a black dragon. It was Malecfor.

End of Chapter 3

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A wrap-up once again! **Chapter 4: Send In The Clones** is coming soon! Oh, the match…well no one won, really. Both Penta and Oxide forfeited, and Sora who was the referee got beaten up (again).

Shaggy and Scooby ran past my house, and this time they were being chased by the Heartless.

"Like, run Scoob!" Shaggy told Scooby.

"Right behind ya!" said Scooby.

I do not own High School Musical 1,2, and 3

I NEVER WILL

(laughs evilly)


	4. Chapter 4: Send In The Clones

Hello, again. This is Chapter 4: Send in the Clones! Sorry I haven't updated for two months, school was in the way and I never got any time to get one the computer. And, I got a new "servant"!

Zexion (Kingdom Hearts) came in my room wearing a maid suit and holding a cup of tea in his hand. I took a sip out of it, and spit it in his face.

"_**HOW MANY TIMES TELL YOU??????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DON'T LIKE MY TEA BITTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_

"I really need to reconsider my life," he moaned.

Penta came in wearing a Strawberry Shortcake dress. (snickers)

"How do you guys like my Halloween outfit?" he asked us.

"It sucks," commented Zexion.

"Oh, yeah? That dress you're wearing sucks!"

The two of them fight each other and I don't want to type in what's happening, for the story must go on. So here's the fourth chapter!

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the following:**

**Barney**

**Alicia Keys**

**Soul Train**

**Winnie The Poo**

**Alvin and the Chipmunks**

**Phineas and Ferb**

**I do own the following:**

**Crash Bandicoot**

**Kingdom Hearts**

**This Story**

* * *

Chapter 4: Send In The Clones

Everybody stared at Malecfor.

"Who in the world are you?!" asked Crash.

"Who am I?" repeated Malecfor. "Why, I am the evil Dark Master Malecfor! Leader of apes! Straight A accounting AP student! Master all elements! And the most evil villain you've ever met! Now, do you have any questions?"

When he asked for questions, no one was listening to him at all. Everyone was minding their own business. (Even I wasn't listening to this guy's yap!) This made Malecfor _so_ angry his face went from red to bright purple to pitch black.

"ARGHHH!!!" screamed Malecfor. "I've already had enough ignorance for one day! Dave, where are you?"

Dave teleported to the airship wearing a party hat, carrying a can of whipped cream in one hand, and a slice of cake in the other. "Yes, master?" he said. "I'm sorry, I was at my friend's party."

"Dave," Malecfor said in a low, mean voice, "finish off those imbeciles once and for all. And if you don't, you're fired."

"Yes, Master," Dave responded as Malecfor vanished, leaving him behind. Dave turned to look at the angry Crash and company.

"Hello," he said evilly. "My name is SquirrelDave SmartyPants, but you can call me Dave for short. Now prepare to listen to my _**EVIL THEME MUSIC!!!!**_"

He gets out a boom box and it starts playing his _**EVIL THEME MUSIC**_. Here's how the lyrics go:

_I love you_

_You love me_

_We're as happy as a friend would be_

_With a great big hug_

_And a kiss from me to you_

_Won't you say_

_You love me too_

(If I got the lyrics wrong, tell me in the reviews)

While the _**"EVIL THEME MUSIC" **_(Barney theme song_)_ continued, Dave was trying to turn off the boom box.

"I don't remember this as my _**EVIL THEME MUSIC**_! (Though all the bolding, underlining, and italics weren't necessary.)" he proclaimed.

"_Sorry,_" I said. "_Can't help it._"

After several attempts to turn the boom box off, it was no use. So he throws it out the window and into the water.

"We're gonna take you down, fool!" barked Crunch, and others agreed with him.

"Well, in that case," Dave sneered, "if you want to take me…" He doubles himself in clones. "You'll have to take on my clones!" The clones started scattering around the blimp.

"Let's split up and get those clones!" said Crash. Everyone split up, two people in each group, to get the clones.

* * *

A clone was looking in the freezer when he turned around to see Dingodile with his flamethrower and N . Trance with particularly nothing.

"You're going down, mate!" smirked Dingodile. He jumps on top of the freezer. He then uses his flamethrower to set the ceiling light on fire.

"Ooooo," said the clone. "You guys are gonna get in so much trouble for setting the ceiling light on fire."

"You'll be the one in trouble!" said N . Trance, turning his robotic arm into a lasso to tie him with. He then uses his other robotic hand to shoot missiles at the ceiling light. The shards fall on the clone and he puffed away in brown smoke.

"Let's go to the pilot room and freak Aku out, mate," suggested Dingodile.

"Good idea," agreed N . Trance.

* * *

A clone was in Pinstripe's room. He passed a painting of Mona Lisa and the eyes watched him as he moved. The clone then finds a picture of Alicia Keys and picks it up.

"Who's this ugly person?" he wondered out loud.

"_HOW DARE YOU CALL HER UGLY!!" _Pinstripe tore through the Mona Lisa painting and started shooting the clone with his Tommy gun.

"I'll be safe behind the couch," said the clone. So he hides behind a couch and sees a bomb. He hides behind the bed and sees another one. He hides behind a trashcan and sees another one. He hides behind a statue of a Greek woman and sees another one. He hides in a box, which was the only place without a bomb, when it explodes. The only thing that was left was brown soot and a brown soot-covered Von Clutch.

"HA!" laughed Von Clutch. "HE FELL FOR MY INVISIBLE BOMB!" He gives Pinstripe a high five.

* * *

A clone was in the arsenal room of the blimp. He sees Cortex's latest invention, a ray gun. Wow.

"Stay where you are!" said a voice. It was Coco, who jumped in the room in her karate pose. Tropy, however, came through the window with his staff.

"Do you know how to work that rusty thing?" Coco asked him.

"Sort of," responded Tropy. On his staff were 26 buttons in different colors. He pressed a apricot-colored button and the staff turned into an axe.

"That's the axe button." He pressed a blue button and a bicycle handle popped up out of the staff.

"That's the bicycle button." He pressed a brown button and the staff did a lecture on European rulers.

"That's the czar button." He pressed a lightly yellow button and disco ball appears form the ceiling and everyone in the room does the Soul Train Line.

"What's going on?" Coco asked while dancing to the music the staff was playing.

"That's the Soul Train Line!" Tropy answered while dancing to the music. "It's highly unstable!

"I have no time for Soul Train dancing!" said the clone as he danced away.

"Not so fast!" Coco said as she danced over to the ray guns and got one. The clone didn't want to be the only person without a weapon. So he grabs one too. Coco used Cortex's new ray gun and zapped the clone with it.

* * *

A clone was in what could be the basement of the blimp, cutting several wires. Nina and Crash sneak up on him and start throwing stuff at him.

"Take this!" said Nina throwing a dictionary at him.

"Take this also!" said Crash, throwing a Piglet (Winnie The Poo) at him.

"Crash, why did you throw a paper clip at him?!" she asked him angrily. "What's wrong with you?!"

"Can you take this?" asked the clone, throwing an old radio at Nina and knocking her out.

"Nina! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" sobbed Crash. "Stand back! I know CPR."

That's when he gave Nina mouth-to-mouth. Nina woke back up and kneed him in the retina.

"What were you trying to do?!" she yelled. "You were _this _close to kissing me! Crash?"

Unfortunately, Crash is daydreaming. Let's take a peek at what he's dreaming about…

_Flashback_

In Crash's flashback, Crash was thirty years old. His son perched on his lap.

"Dad," he asked, "how did you and mom meet each other?"

"Well, son," said the thirty year old Crash, "it all started at Neo's airship, at the 10th Dimension…"

Okay…I think we've heard enough.

_End of Flashback_

Where's the clone? Hmph. I guess he got disturbed from the flashback and couldn't stand anymore. What about you guys?

A clone was using the bathroom. Fake Crash and Ripper Roo were looking through Dora the Explorer's backpack.

"What's this?" Ripper Roo wondered. "A mini-version of the Psychetron? What would Dora do with this?"

"Swiper the Fox dropped it one day," replied Backpack.

"Be quiet, you!" snapped Roo, and then sparked up an idea. They use the Psychetron to drag Evil Crash out of the 10th Dimension, just in time when the clone finished using the bathroom. Evil Crash chased him and the other clones around.

"Where do I put the chipmunks?" A park drone comes by holding a cage with Alvin, Simon and Theodore - the chipmunks. Using their brains, they got out of the cage, just when Evil Crash and the clones went inside the drone's pants.

"Now that the clones are out of the way," said Roo, "I can practice my singing!" Fake Crash covered his ears.

**Roo: **_Now somebody, anybody, everybody SCREAM!!!_

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" screamed the park drone. "There's squirrels in my pants!

"That dog got's some serious squirrels in his pants!" said Alvin.

"Let's sing a song about it!" suggested Simon.

"Wait for me!" Piglet rushed by in his rapper attire. "I want to sing too!"

"Let's get this party started!" started Theodore as they began to sing _Squirrels In My Pants _from Phineas and Ferb.

**Park Drone:** _There's squirrels in my pants!_

**Alvin:** Tell me what's making you jump like that!

**Piglet:** S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my pants!

**Simon:** Ain't got no chickens,  
Ain't got no rats.....

**Piglet:** S-I-M-P,  
**Park Drone and Piglet:** Squirrels in my pants!

**Theodore:** S to the I to the M to the P,  
Then maybe you can be moving like me...

**Roo:** Step right over and watch me put it down...

**Park Drone:** Squirrels! Squirrels!  
**Piglet:** S to the I to the M to the P

**Roo:** Step right over and watch me put it...

**Piglet and Roo:** S to the I to the M to the P!

**Alvin:** Who you got back home, watering your plants...

**Piglet:** S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my Pants!

**Simon:** How can I qualify for government grants?

**Piglet:** S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my Pants!

**Theodore:** Yeah...  
Hypnotize me, put me in a trance...

**Piglet:** S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my Pants!

**All Chipmunks:** Got an Aunt Florence living in France...

**Piglet:** She can't see the-  
**Park Drone:** _Squirrels in my Pants!_

**Roo:** Step right over and watch me put it down...

**Drone:** Squirrels! Squirrels!  
**Piglet:** S to the I to the M to the P,

**Roo:** Step right over and watch me put it...

**Piglet:** S to the I to the M to the P!

**Alvin:** If you wanna know how I'm doin' this dance

**Piglet** S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my pants!

**Simon:** There's something in my trousers, you know it ain't ants!

**Piglet:** S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my pants!  
**Theodore:** Yeah...

**Theodore:** Proletarian bourgeoisie

**Piglet:** Baby you don't need an academic degree!

**All Chipmunks:** Everybody smellin' my potpourri!

**Piglet:** S to the I to the M to the P!

**Roo:** Step right over and watch me put it down!

**Drone:** Squirrels! Squirrels!  
**Piglet:** S to the I to the M to the P!

**Roo:** Step right over and watch me put it down,  
Down, down on the ground...  
**Roo and Piglet:** 'Cuz you know I got it goin' on!

**Piglet:** _(S!)_  
**Roo:** S to the I to the M to the P!  
**Piglet:** _(I!)_  
**Roo:** S to the I to the M to the P!  
**Piglet:** _(M!)_  
**Roo:** If your pockets are empty get a cash advance!  
**Drone:** Squirrels! Squirrels!  
**Piglet:** S to the I to the M to the P!

**Piglet:** _(S!)_  
**Alvin:** If you're losing your hair get yourself implants!  
**Piglet:** _(I!)_  
**Simon:** If you're wrestling a bear then you ain't got a chance!  
**Piglet:** _(M!)_  
**Theodore:** Old Uncle Freddy just rages and rants!  
Ain't about love! Ain't about romance!  
**All:** I got squirrels in my pants!

"Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" screeched the park drone as Evil Crash came out of his pants.

"He had actual squirrels in his pants!" said Alvin in disbelief. "We just got served, big time!

* * *

Inside one of the rooms of the airship, N. Gin is inventing something. Let's get a closer look…closer…closer…closer…

"Back away!" hollered the cyborg.

Fine, Mr. Persnickety. What the heck are you building anyway?

"It's my latest invention, the Warpinator 5002."

What about numbers 5000 and 5001?

"Those stupid Komondo brothers broke them – on purpose!"

Okay…so what does you invention do?"

"It can warp anyone in the universe. All I need is a few nuts and bolts and…"

Flashing lights flickered in the room, and when it stopped the only people in the room were N. Gin, a clone – and Santa Claus?!?

"Ho ho ho!" he bellowed. "Merry Christmas!"

"Santa Claus!" cheered the clone as he sat on his lap.

"Hi there! What do you want for Christmas?"

"I want a Wii, a flat screen TV, an IPod, a new bicycle, wrestling action figures, a laptop…"

_45 minutes later…_

"…a new thesaurus, a pet fish, a stuffed animal, dental floss, a"

Can we continue on with the story, please?

"He's right," agreed Santa. "I know something that'll finish off this clone."

He whistled, and his sleigh sweeps the clone off his feet. Then everyone leaves…what, where's everyone going?

On the deck of the airship Crunch, Pasadena, Tiny, and Kong were doing the finishing touches on the leftover clones. Everyone else joined them.

"That should be all of them," said Uka.

A shadowy figure was crawling around the floor and out popped Malecfor.

"Time to take over this putrid airship once and for all!" he said.

"No you can't!" thundered Cortex. "I'm the Prince of Darkness! ALL ABOARD! HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"You're not," corrected N. Trance. "Besides, there can be only one prince of darkness and you sleep with a night light on."

"Don't tell that in front of the readers. CrashGuy01! Do something!"

"_How can I help you when I'm typing these words?!" _I yelled, typing.

"Can you at least delete N. Trance from this chapter?"

"_That I can do." _So I deleted N. Trance from the chapter and replaced him with Garfield (Garfield comics).

"This isn't the comic strip!" he replied. "I'm stuck in some website called FanFiction!"

"I want to be replaced, too!" whined Dingodile.

"_Ugh." _Dingodile was replaced with Meowth (Pokemon).

"Where am I?" he wondered.

"Welcome to my world," Garfield told him. "Or should I say – CrashGuy01's world."

Can we _**PLEASE **_continue with the story?

"Fine, Mr. Snippy." Garfield said sarcastically. "If you're gonna be like that, then I'm leaving."

"Me, too," said Meowth as they left. Suddenly Malecfor dragged them.

"You two will be my 'servants'," he announced, hypnotizing them.

"_Plagiarizer!" _I scowled.

"Must obey Malecfor," the two hypnotized felines said. "Must destroy airship." The two press a self-destruction button. A disco ball pops up from the ceiling and everyone in this chapter except for the clones does the Soul Train Line.

"Not again!" groaned Coco.

"You imbeciles!" roared Malecfor. "That's not the self-destruction button!" So they press another one.

"SELF-DESTRUTION SEQUENCE STARTING IN 10…9…8…6…5…4…3…2…1…GOODBYE."

Malecfor disappeared, leaving Cortex and Uka behind. The airship set on fire and hurtled towards the –

"Don't forget to read & review!" surprised Penta, ruining the most suspenseful moment.

"_Penta!" _I hollered. _"You just ruined the most suspenseful moment of the story!"_

"Fine, Mr. Persnickety/Snippy."

Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah, the airship set on fire and hurtled towards a Gummi Ship. The two ships crash towards the ground leaving an enormous explosion. Then everyone dies, the chapter is over (finally), and I can quit this stinkin' job as narrator and find another occupation in these hard, economical times, like working at a gas station or selling lemonade or even–

"_Geary!" _I scowled.

I was just kidding!

**End of The Dark Fate**

"_Penta…"_

"Okay, I'm changing it!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hey guys, I have some good news. The good news is that **Chapter 5: Serious Training **is coming soon and there will be a special guest - Lara Croft (Tomb Raider). Stay tuned.

(No Crash Bandicoot characters or clones were harmed in the making of this chapter.)


	5. Chapter 5: A Crash Christmas Carol

Ni Hao, everyone! Sure hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving (yes, I'm late). As you may know, Christmas is coming very soon. And, to kick it off, I'm gonna replace the other chapter idea (sorry) and do a Crash Bandicoot Special, in which Lara Croft (Tomb Raider) will be in this exciting chapter! Also, I've updated my personal information and a Dark Fate guide so when you're done, you can go to my profile and look at stuff coming up in the story. So sorry that the other chapter idea was replaced. Also, there's a cool website called Sploder, were you can create your own games. I tried it out, so you should too!

Lara Croft came inside my room with Penta hugging her leg.

"Will someone please get rid of this dumb penguin?" she complained. "He keeps on asking me for my autograph."

"Whose autograph…-." Geary enters my room and stares lovingly at Lara. "Whoa, momma. Er…you may think this is awkward, but…can we get an arranged marriage?"

This ticks Lara off, and so she hits his funny bone.

"My funny bone! First, Crash does this to me, and now _you_?"

"Well, if you put it that way…" Lara rips off her skin to reveal no other than Zexion, who was disguised as her.

"Huh?"

"What?!" Penta faints and falls off Zexion's leg.

"If you're not Lara, then where's the real one?"

"In the chapter," replied Zexion.

* * *

Chapter 5: A Crash Christmas

Crash, Coco, Cortex, Aku, Uka, and a few minions were lying on the ground, unconscious. Cortex was the first to wake up, and so were the minions. All of their faces were covered with dirt and bruises. Soon Crash woke up.

"Ugh…where are we?" he moaned, with the fact he lost his two front teeth (not a good start for a Christmas special).

Aku woke up. "Is everyone okay?" he asked.

Then Coco woke up and limped to the others. "Doesn't look like it," she replied.

Uka woke up and got angry at Cortex. "You fool!" he roared at him. "How did you crash into that Gummi Ship?!" (Guess he forgot that Garfield and Meowth were responsible for the crash and he blamed it on Cortex.) "And how come we're still alive?!"

"Um…err…" the N head stuttered, trying to think of an excuse. "I-I-I-I h-had t-t-t-t-t-to go-go t-t-to-"

"SILENCE!!!!!!!!!!!" Uka screamed so loud that the earth rumbled. Uka screamed so loud that the dogs howled. Uka screamed so loud that the monkeys beat up Tarzan. "You better find our way through that forest up ahead or I'll incinerate you!"

"Don't fret, guys," assured Crash. "Luckily I'm the forest expert!"

So Crash guided everyone into the forest.

* * *

At Malecfor's secret lair, Dave walked through the main hall. In the last chapter, you've read that if Crash and company weren't goners, he will be fired. (That's why you should never, EVER skip chapters.) When he entered Malecfor's room, well, let's just say that the firing trial didn't last that long.

"Dave, you fired." That's all Malecfor had to say. So Dave packed his bags and left the lair for the last time.

Garfield came by in his butcher outfit, holing a drink of Red Bull. (It gives you wings.) Before drinking, Malecfor called to Meowth and said, "Meowth, turn on the TV."

So Meowth turned on the TV to show a turquoise and orange dragon.

"Hello, Chantecx," snarled Malecfor. "Surely you wouldn't mind if I 'borrow' two of your students?"

"Yes, Malecfor," snarled Chantecx. "I sure hope they are worthy enough to ruin Christmas."

The door knocked and a chameleon and a zebra came in.

"Finicky to acknowledge you, Dark Master," greeted the chameleon. (They have wide vocabulary.) "Allocate me to commence us. My name is Charles Chameleon the 3rd, and he is Zebrahead. He doesn't articulate that much."

"Ciao," responded Zebrahead.

"Thanks for giving me your minions, Brio," thanked Malecfor. "I just know that you'll get a very, _very_, VERY good report from these two."

"I sure hope so." Chantecx bowed his head in dismay as Meowth turned off the TV.

"Here's your 'Christmas Doomsday' to-do-list." Malecfor gave Charles and Zebrahead a list and a greenish-grayish scepter.

**Christmas Doomsday To-Do-List:**

**Hide the reindeer**

**Destroy the presents**

**Enslave the elves**

**Use the scepter to turn Santa Claus into a zombie**

**Fill all the stockings with coal**

**Transfer everybody's name on the nice list to the naughty list and everybody's name on the naughty list to the nice**

**Burn all Christmas trees and house decorations**

**Eat all the Christmas candy (if you can)**

"When you go outside, you'll see your sleigh and 'reindeer'. Don't fail me!"

So the two went outside in the snow-enclosed forest, where they saw their sleigh and the "reindeer", which were robots.

"Yip!" Zebrahead whipped Corbin and the 'reindeer' magically flew off to the North Pole.

* * *

Crash and co. was still in the forest. In fact, they were actually walking around in circles.

"We've been walking around in circles!" complained Aku.

"And you said you were an expert!" Coco slapped Crash.

"Okay, I lied," admitted Crash. I'm not a forest expert at all."

"Why did you lie to us, Crash?!" Now Coco was choking him.

"Keep on doing that. It feels good."

"Stop, Coco!" thundered Aku. "We don't have to trust Crash. We can ask those two elves if they know a way out of the forest."

Two elves passed by, holding two presents.

"You two! Do you know how to get out of this forest?" asked Uka.

"Heck, yeah!" replied one of them, named Tingle. "You just go over the bridge and through the woods to…wait, wait, that's Grandma's house…to get out of this forest…well…you can't."

"WHAT????????" everyone said in disbelief.

"To get out of this forest," said the second one, Jingle, "you can ride on our miniature sleigh! It seats about 15 people!"

So everyone got on the sleigh and they took off.

* * *

Charles and Zebrahead finally reached the North Pole.

"We've finally made it," said Charles. "According to our inventory, we must secrete Santa's reindeer."

"Where?" asked Zebrahead?

The duo found the actual reindeer to their right and they dug a hole big enough to put them in and covered the hole with snow so no one would notice.

"That's one commission done. Only seven more to execute!"

* * *

The two elves and everybody else were riding peacefully when they heard a phone rang. Tingle pulled out what could possibly be an iPod Touch and answered.

"Hello, who is it? Oh, it's just you Kringles. Whaddaya mean there are intruders in the workshop? Christmas is coming soon!" This really hit Cortex. "I'm comin'." He hangs up and turns towards the others. "Sorry, guys, but there's somethin' up at the workshop. Gotta see what's up."

"Oh, crudmuffins!" blurted out Cortex. "It's almost Christmas! I forgot to make Nina a homemade present, since I spent all my money on my minions. _And _used half of my life savings to pay my Uncle Periwinkle's light bill. _And _used the other half to go to the movies and see _The Princess and the Frog_."

"Have no fear, Cortex!" N. Trance said bravely. "For Nog Trance is here to save the day!"

"Nog _who_???" wondered Coco.

"Nog Trance!" N. Trance pressed a button on his suit to reveal a green-and-white superhero suit. "I defeated my arch-enemies with my superpower of nog!"

"Who did you defeat, anyway?" asked Crash.

Nog Trance pointed to Tropy. "Hey!" angered Tropy.

In the dense fog, everyone could see the North Pole and the workshop. The sleigh safely landed and everybody entered the workshop.

* * *

Inside the toy factory of the workshop, Charles lighted a candle and set the toys on fire.

"Not _Halo 3_!" cried one of the elves, which was Kringles. "I never got a chance to play the game!" Zebrahead held the scepter over their heads. "Oh, dear, oh, dear…"

Crash and co. arrived at the factory.

"We made it," panted Jingle. "Now tell me what's…going…on…" The tone of his voice lowered when he saw his elf friends as zombies. "Oh my…"

"Charge!" Zebrahead commanded the zombiefied elves to attack Crash and co.

"We can't just stand around here!" said Komodo Moe.

"We must make haste!" Komodo Joe and the others threw the toys – burnt or not burnt – at the zombies. That didn't work well.

"Let Nog Trance defeat these zombies!" Nog Trance pulled out a large water gun filled with nog and squirted it at the zombies, which turned them back into elves. Suddenly, there was a flashing light, and everyone passed out.

* * *

Crash and co. opened their eyes and noticed that they were inside a jail cell made of candy canes.

"Compliments, Crash Bandicoot and associates," smirked Charles. Allow me to commence my collaborator and me. My name is Charles Chameleon the 3rd, and he is Zebrahead. He doesn't articulate that much."

Instead of saying 'ciao', Zebrahead just smiled.

"In case you're yearning to discern why we're doing this, our master N. Brio has sent us to Malecfor so that we can raze Christmas this year. And now, we are going to consume _all _the candy in this room!" He and Zebrahead began to eat the candy behind them.

"What are we gonna do now?" whimpered one of the elves, Bingle.

"Save Christmas!" grunted Tiny as he tried to eat the candy cane bars, only to break all of his teeth. "I give up."

"I'm not!" said Crash, confident. "We're gonna save Christmas, even if we're stuck in a cell, I'm not giving up!"

"He's right, mate," agreed Dingodile. "Let's work together!"

"Yeah!" chanted everyone in the cell.

"Intone all you want, bandicoot and friends!" sneered Charles. "You have no counterpart with me!"

In a split nanosecond, Lara Croft jumped out of nowhere and grabbed the chameleon by the neck. Zebrahead could do nothing but watch.

"Please don't eradicate me!" begged Charles. "I have three kids to nurture!" (He made that up.)

* * *

Since the nasty brawl up ahead won't be appropriate for a story rated K+, CrashGuy01 let me start my own fan club. It wasn't easy, you know…

_An hour ago…_

on the phone David Hasslehoff? No? Ashley Tisdale? Are you kidding me? Miley Cyrus? But I'm your #1 fan! Next to Crash. Orlando Bloom? What do you mean, you have other things to care of? She Wolf? Wait…she doesn't really exist…

So far the only people in my fan club is Carrie Underwood, Taylor Swift, Kermit the Frog, Big Bird from _Sesame Street_, and the Super Mario Bros. I need more ammo! (I meant celebrities.) You guys stay here while I find Michelle Obama! leaves the room Yaya, narrate the story!

"Aw, crud!" snapped Yaya.

* * *

At Malecfor's lair, Malecfor thought of an idea.

"Meowth, turn back on the TV." Meowth turned on the TV to show Chantecx.

"What do you want now?" asked the dragon.

"Oh, nothing, just nothing. Just asking if your finest students can do me a little favor…"

* * *

After the brutal beating, Lara thrashed Charles at the wall. Charles was bleeding.

"Let's get out of here," Charles told Zebrahead as the duo left the room.

"Lara…" started Crash.

"Good luck with saving Christmas and all." These were the only words she said before leaving.

"Lara, wait!"

"That was a short cameo appearance," remarked Kong.

Suddenly, a fire rose in front of everyone. A Jamaican man wearing Jamaican clothing appeared.

"Who the heck are you?" asked Coco.

"My name is Kyo," answered the Jamaican, (regardless that _Microsoft Word _disliked his name.) "I am a undergraduate of Chantecx's Preparatory School of Scientific Studies, and I have been the 9th to accommodate. Chantecx sent me out to 'check on you'.

"Group huddle!" Crash called out, and everyone got in a huddle. "If what he said in two quotation marks instead of four means this guy is absolutely up to no good."

"He wants to burn us alive!" The response of Kringles caused many others to shiver in fright.

"Any ideas, Nog Trance?" Coco asked Nog Trance, who was bundled up in the corner and sucking his thumb, which he doesn't have, so he must be sucking on his hand. "Guess not."

Ripper Roo pulls out a shovel and starts shoveling.

"We can go through here!" Roo told everyone.

"My work here is done." Kyo vanishes in flames.

"Now what do we do with the sweet, tasty, yummy candy…I'll stop."

"We'll just leave the candy here," decided Aku. "We have more matters to deal with now!"

* * *

Back at the toy factory, our heroes and villains notice something odd about the toy soldiers – they were alive! Everyone had a chance to beat up a few – that is, except for Aku, who got knocked out at the start. Crash spins a crate with his head on it.

***Congratulations! You have won an extra life.** *

"An extra life?" wondered Crash. "This is a fanfic, not a video game!" A toy soldier sneaks up on and touches Crash, and now Crash is an angel, flying to heaven like I did in one of my weird dreams, wondering what fate he will face on Judgment Day. A few seconds later, he returns back to the factory with zero lives, and he spins a crate with Aku on it, and now Aku gains consciousness.

"Thank you, Crash," thanked Aku, but now Crash spin another crate, this time with a ? mark on it, revealing wumpa fruit and ate them so fast he chokes on one of them, clutches his neck, and dies, now the chapter is over now that Crash his dead – huh? I have to start this chapter all over again?! Great. Do these people not know that this is not a video game – it's a fanfic?!?! Gee, wiz, people these days…Let's see, everyone wakes up from their unconsciousness…blah blah blah (stupid red lines on _Word_)…SquirrelDave is fired…blah blah blah…Malecfor meets Charles and Zebrahead…blah blah blah…Crash and co. meet two elves…blah blah blah… N. Trance becomes Nog Trance…blah blah blah…Nog Trance kicks zombie butts…blah blah blah…Lara Croft beats up Charles…ah, here we go! Crash spins another crate with a ? mark on it, revealing wumpa fruit and ate them _slowly_, which gave him another life. He now beats up the remaining toy soldiers.

"Time to save Santa Claus!" announced Tropy as they head to Santa's room.

The crew reached Santa's room. They noticed footprints of webbed feet and hooves, which indicated that Charles and Zebrahead were already here. They also found Santa Claus in his chair, and when he turned around, they were amazed – Santa was a zombie! The fat jolly old fellow then pulled out grayish green candy canes and threw them in the elves' mouths, turning them back into zombies. The zombies then did the Michael Jackson _Thriller_, and the choreography was absolutely _horrible_. After dancing…

"Eat eggnog, zombies!" Nog Trance threw eggnog into the zombies' mouths, but it had no effect. "Guess they were stronger than we thought they would be."

"You guys stay right here!" ordered Komodo Moe.

"Me and Moe are going to get our _secret weapon_!" The two komodo dragons went to go to get their secret weapon.

* * *

Since it'll take the Komodo brothers a lot of time to find that secret weapon, I'm taking the narration back to Geary! booing

Thank you, Penta. While I was gone, I found Hulk Hogan! Actually a standee of him, does that count? CrashGuy01 nods his head

Meanwhile, at the Geary Fan Club…

"Let's get out of here," suggested Kermit as the club members got on top of one another, Kermit on top, and the Muppet frog went inside the attic of my house.

"Hurry up!" shouted Big Bird.

"Don't rush a playa!" shouted Kermit gangster style from below as he made a hole, and got out. The others did the same. Then I came in…hey, where did everybody go? This always happens to me!

* * *

The Komodo brothers came back with a supernatural book.

"This worked in the movies!" stated Joe as he and his brother chanted the following words: "Wanna say Wanna sa Wanna moca sa." Santa and the elves returned to normal.

"How could I be so stupid?!" N. Trance slapped his hand on his face.

"How could I ever repay you guys?" asked Santa. "You don't know what happened while you were fighting off those toy soldiers!"

_Flashback_

Santa Claus was tied to his chair, his eyes taped wide open, and he was watching a little video…

"No!" he screamed. "Please make it stop! Make it stop!"

On the TV screen was Goofy Goof (Disney) wearing hypnotizing glasses and his head was spinning. He was chanting the following words:

MY NAME IS GOOF,

AND YOU'LL DO WHAT I SAY

WOO WOO

MY NAME IS GOOF,

AND YOU'LL DO WHAT I SAY

WOO WOO

MY NAME IS GOOF,

AND YOU'LL DO WHAT I SAY

WOO WOO

In a matter of seconds, Santa became a zombie. (don't ask)

_End of Flashback_

"As my gratitude, I'll transfer your names from the nice list to the naughty list." Santa Claus gets his nice/naughty list. "Humph. Your names _are _on the nice list. In that case, you can do me another favor. I need you to go to the island of misfit toys and bring the toys here."

So the crew went outside to find their sleigh, but no reindeer.

"Where's Santa's reindeer?" wondered Pinstripe.

"You guys," Cortex told his minions. "There's always a plan B!"

So Aku tied up the minions to the ropes, only to give them rope burn.

"It burns!" hollered Roo as he and many other minions danced like nitwits. "It burns us!"

"Nog Trance, to the rescue!" Nog Trance poured eggnog on the ropes and minions, cooling them down.

"Let _me _tie up the reindeer." Coco tied up the minions to the half-singed ropes and got on the sleigh with Crash, Cortex, Aku and Uka, and they took off.

* * *

In the middle of the flight, the sleigh fell apart, piece-by-piece, and everyone crashed into the Island of Misfit Toys.

"I blame Aku and his curse," blamed Crash.

The crew looked up to see a humongous monster towering above their heads. It was made from candy canes.

"We're doomed," whimpered Coco.

* * *

Charles and Zebrahead flew over the houses of the New York suburbs. They went to each house and stuffed each stoking with coal and burned the Christmas decorations with a flame that relied on no scent. They arrived in a house that belonged to an old lady.

"Who goes there?" Charles was about to burn down a Christmas tree when he spotted the old lady. "An intruder in my house? I'll take you down old school style!" She rips off her nightgown to reveal wrestling attire. "Whoops. Wrong outfit." She rips off the attire to reveal a kung fu outfit.

"Bring it on, grandma!" Charles got in his kung fu form. The two beat each other up, while Zebrahead sang _Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting by Carl Douglas_. In the end, Grandma won.

"Here's your new heavyweight champion, Grandma Jenkins!" Zebrahead held up Grandma's hand and gave her the belt. Then he hypnotized her and she went back to sleep.

* * *

Back at the Island of Misfit Toys, the Candy Cane Monster grabbed everyone by his mouth and flinged them at the iceberg.

"Let's work together!" announced Crash, which got everyone back on his or her feet. "Aku, find the monster's weak point!"

"Why me?" asked Aku.

"Because you're more intelligent than Uka," replied Coco.

"Watch your mouth, craven!" gnarled Uka.

Aku gulped and scanned the monster. "Its temples are the weak point," he replied.

"So we attack the temples. Cortex, shoot the temples."

"I'm on it!" Cortex uses his jetpack to fly up to the monster's mouth and shot it. It was no use. "I need a distraction."

"Tiny, distract the monster."

"Will do!" Tiny hops around, grabbing the monster's attention and giving Cortex the chance to shoot the monster.

* * *

Charles and Zebrahead burned down all the decorations and Christmas trees in New York. With their job done, they went back to Malecfor's lair with a good report.

"See? Told you they would do a good job destroying Christmas!" The Dark Master told Chantecx.

"In New York," reminded Chantecx. "But, I guess they did a decent job. You two can come back now."

Charles teleported with his accomplice, Zebrahead, back to the preparatory school.

* * *

The jaw of the Candy Cane Monster fell off, and Coco used her Sticky Lightning Gun to glue the monster to one place.

"My turn!" Crash spins the jaw, breaking it. Amidst the breaking, N. Gin shot the monster in his hip while Roo threw dynamite. They were close to killing the monster.

"Our turn!" The Komodo brothers cutted off the monster's legs with their swords, and all the weight fell on them. Pinstripe sighed and made a hole with his Tommy gun big enough for the overweight Komodo dragons to get out off. With the hole wide open, Dingodile inserted his flamethrower inside and Tropy attached his staff to the flamethrower.

"I may have amnesia," he said, "but I do know how to work this thing, for your information, Coco." Coco just rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, Tropy!" cheered Pinstripe. "You can do it! Knock us dead! (I really didn't mean it. Don't actually kill anyone.)"

Tropy pressed a white button and the monster exploded in a flurry of flames. Everyone oohed and ahhed.

"At least he didn't try to kill us like last time," joked Cortex.

"You saved us!" A jack-in-a-box and many other misfit toys came by. "You freed us from that vicious monster that the girl sent upon us!"

"It's nothing," said Crash, wondering whom this girl was. "What are your names, anyway, and how did you end up here?"

"My name is Charlie-in-the-Box," introduced the jack-in-a-box. "I'm not really a misfit toy." (yeah, right)

"I'm Sue," introduced a doll. "I'm so unloved."

"I'm Trainer," introduced a blue train. "As you can see, I have square wheels."

"I'm Bill the Airplane," introduced a blue airplane. (came up of a name for him) "I can't fly."

"I'm the Spotted Elephant," introduced a polka-dotted elephant. "I'm a bellhop."

"And I'm Boomer the Boomerang!" introduced an orange boomerang. "When my owner throws me, I never come back!" Tiny throws the boomerang and he never came back. Then the toys sang the _We're A Couple of Misfits_ song in the _Rudolph _special.

"Man, I hated the 1960's version of this crummy song," groaned Roo.

Everyone except for Roo was so into the song that the remnants of the Candy Cane Monster merged together to form a Candy Cane Nymph!

"Here we go again," sighed Coco.

The misfit toys ran away.

"Come back!" Crash and the others ran after the toys.

* * *

Kermit, Taylor Swift, Carrie Underwood, Big Bird, and the Super Mario Brothers were trying to hide from me – Geary.

"How did we get out of the attic?" wondered Luigi.

"You had to use the bathroom really badly and you were afraid the Psycho Killer would sneak up on you and kill you with his chainsaw that we had to stand guard," replied his brother, Mario. Zexion entered the bathroom with a roll of newspaper and is knocked out to the smell of the bathroom.

Just then the doorbell rang. I went to see whom it was – OMIGOSH! OMIGOSH! OMIGOSH! OMIGOSH! OMIGOSH! OMIGOSH! IT'S MILEY CYRUS!!!!! CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH, PLEASE??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"I'm not Miley Cyrus," replied the singer. "I'm just some random person hired by CrashGuy01 to trick you by dressing up as her." I growled and battered the counterfeit Miley. This gave enough time for my entire club members to escape.

"Freedom!" Kermit ran around like an idiot until Taylor knocked him with her guitar. Now Kermit lied on the ground, and was unable to get up. "Thanks. I really needed that." Everyone left, leaving him there. "You guys aren't gonna help me up? What kind of friends are you?!"

* * *

Crash and the others rounded up the fraidy-cat misfit toys.

"I'm scared," whimpered Sally.

"Don't be scared," assured Crash. "A wise old man once told me, 'You should not be scared, for fright is less denser than bravery.'

"What strong words," complimented Trainer. "Was this man real?"

"Nah, made him up."

"Let's do this, misfit toys!" announced Charlie.

"Yeah!" complied the misfit toys, including Boomer, who finally came back.

So the toys marched to the Candy Cane Nymph, non-reluctant. The nymph roared, but the toys weren't afraid, not even one bit.

"Give me a boost, Sue!" Sue picked up Charlie and threw him into the Nymph's eye.

"Hey, big, mean, and butt-ugly, over here!" The nymph turned around and the elephant threw Bill at his eye. Trainer tried to trip the nymph over by moving around.

Sue jumped on the nymph and made him fall on the ice. The elephant drank the water through his snout and squirted it at the monster. Finally Charlie threw Boomer at the nymph, ending the edible dryad for good.

"Hooray!" cheered the toys.

After the victorious cheer by the toys, a sandstorm brewed.

"What on earth is going on?!" panicked Aku.

"It isn't normal to have a sandstorm in the artic!" Charlie yelled.

Suddenly everyone except for Crash disappeared as the storm brewed harder and harder, leaving the teenage bandicoot alone with a girl standing across from him. It's like as if they were trapped inside a sandy tomb.

"Who are you?!" asked Crash. The girl did not answer. "You were responsible for the monster, weren't you?!" This time, the girl smiled and nodded his head. "Can you talk?" The girl faded away like sand breezing in the wind. "Come back here!" Suddenly the sand converged on Crash, and now he's stuck in some realm of darkness, something like that, and he looks down to see what he's standing on, which appears to be a mirror-like platform. There was white and turquoise armor scattered about, and they magically joined together to form white and turquoise armor. Crash spinned them off the platform, and a hologramical pedestal of a badger in multi – colored robes appeared.

"Greetings, Crash Bandicoot," it said. "I'm Grantor, and I've seen your great battling techniques and unique skills."

"Gee, thanks," blushed Crash.

"I have brought you here to alert you about something." Grantor paused. "You'll have to fight one, no wait, TWO forces to complete your journey and free the world from darkness."

"Who is this new force?"

"Another numinous dragon named Chantecx. He brainwashed his alumnae (graduates) of his preparatory school into evilness and sent them after you, your friends, and enemies. It is predestined that you, Crash, could save us all from this lunacy."

"You really think so?"

"I'm affirmative."

With that, Crash teleported away in a beam of light –

"Hold on!" Crash teleported back to Grantor.

"What is it?" asked the bandicoot.

"Did you see the girl before you got here?"

"Um…yeah…"

"Her name is Margaret. (CrashGuy01 hasn't updated any info about her yet.) Tell your friends that you must track her down. She will tell you were the preparatory school is, if she's not brainwashed. She's a very talkative one."

"She never talked to me."

"Touché."

As I was saying: With that, Crash teleported away in a beam of light, all the way back to the Island of Misfit Toys. Everyone returned, too, and they just stood there. Silence.

"Where were you guys?" Crash was the first to speak out. There were random comments.

"I was in the future!"

"I was in Super Mario World!"

"I was in my small intestine!"

"I was on top of some sort of mirror," Crash spoke out. "There I met this badger guy named Grantor, and he told me that we should find the girl –

"No way!" someone blurted out. More random comments.

"What's wrong with you?!"

"We can't trust her!"

"She's a demon."

"She's a witch!"

"She's a hobo!"

"Stop, everyone!" calmed Aku. "I think Crash is up to something."

"Thank you, Aku. Anyways, we must find the girl. Her name is Margaret, and she can tell us more about this Chantecx guy."

"Who's that?"

"Another dragon who's butt we have to kick to save the world." Everyone except for the toys groaned due to the fact they have to beat up another villain.

* * *

Crash and co., including the toys, returned to the North Pole. Aku, for some reason, was controlling the sleigh, causing it to set on fire and crash towards the snow, revealing the reindeer.

"We can breathe again!" inhaled Blitzen.

"Thanks a bunch," thanked Dasher.

"You're welcome," said Coco, sooty.

Santa and the elves came by.

"Ho ho ho!" he bellowed. "You've saved Christmas! I knew I could trust you!"

"Could you repay us?" Coco moved out of the way to reveal the misfit toys.

"So you brought me the toys! I'll fix them nice and neat for Christmas."

"I sure hope I'll find Nina a present before then," hoped Cortex.

Crash, Cortex, Coco, and the witchdoctor brothers (the minions offered to help Santa Claus) went back to the forest they found Tingle and Jingle.

"I'll be the guide," Coco told Crash.

**End of Chapter 5**

My fifth chapter done already! Anyways, I have a special surprise for you. For each review you gave me (except for this chapter), I'll send you a sneak peek of the next chapters in **The Dark Fate. **Give me one, and you'll get a sneak peek of the next chapter, give me two, and I'll give you a sneak peek of the next chapter after that, the list goes on. **Chapter 6: Forest Fumble** will be updated around sometime.


	6. Chapter 6: Forest Fumble

Ciao, everyone! Sorry about the long delay, no, it wasn't school, it was THE COMPUTER!!!!!!!!! You see, it kinda malfunctioned a little, so it's in the repair shop. Also...

-I have a forum named the **CrashGuy01 Comedy Warehouse**. (We have 11 CB forums now!)

-I also have a community called **Good Humor Bandicoot,** containing many humorous stories.

-Finally, I'm planning to have cameo appearences of random notable people. Here are my ideas:

**John Cena (WWE)**

**Larry King (CNN)**

**Peyton Manning and Drew Brees (NFL)**

**Wolverine (Marvel)**

If you have any other ideas, just tell me. I'm all ears!

Yaya came into the room.

_"What is it?"_

"Zexion's acting up again," she replied.

_"What did he do this time?"_

"He ran around the house, used your toothbrush, deleted your file on CTTR, wetted his pants and threw them on Kermit, the frog guy from the last chapter." The crazed bookworm ran around wearing a small leaf.

_"Penta, start the chapter. Quick."_ Chapter 6: Forest Fumble

* * *

While guiding Crash and co. through the forest, Coco spots a tree with a toy squirrel on it. She pulls the tail.

"Welcome to the Gemstone Forest!" it said. "In this timbered wilderness, you'll find all kinds of power crystals that'll even make the malevolence of the evil scientists tingle with glee!" Cortex was overjoyed. "Note that there are odd, but side-splitting fictional characters in this forest, so you better keep a look out for them!" The toy squirrel stopped. Our heroes walked away. "Oh, I forgot to tell you something." Our heroes came back. "You can maximize your chances if you work independently." So our heroes split up.

* * *

Cortex walked through this forest, loading his ray gun.

"I'll use this ray gun just in case any animals sneak up on me!" he said.

While adventuring through the forest, Bugs Bunny popped up out of nowhere and mimicked the scientist. Whenever Cortex picked his nose, Bugs pick his nose as well. Whenever Cortex yawned, Bugs yawned as well. Whenever Cortex scratched his butt, Bugs scratched his as well. Whenever Cortex went inside a wooden bathroom stall, Bugs went inside as well at the same time, in the same urinal. Whenever Cortex took a dump – that's when the shenanigans ended. Cortex jumped out of the stall in his ray gun stance with Bug's hands up in the air.

"What's the big idea, punk?!" thundered the N head.

"What's the big idea, doc?!" reincarnated Bugs.

"Stop copying whatever I say!"

"Stop copying whatever I say!"

"I mean it!"

"I mean it!"

"_If I keep this up, he'll keep on copying me!"_ Cortex thought in his mind.

"_If I keep this up, he'll keep on copying me!"_ Bugs thought in his mind.

"There's someone copying and pasting my words! But who?"

"The person's who typing the story."

"I have to serve as CrashGuy01's profile image AND typer!" yelled Iron Man.

"But –" Cortex gasped. "You finally said something I didn't say!"

"You finally said something I didn't say!"

Cortex growled so furiously he zaps his ray gun at a tree to reveal a praying mantis. It swoops by, almost hitting Cortex in the eye, which I would be glad if that happened, serves him right. Bugs ducked behind him.

'What's the matter?" asked Cortex. "It's only a praying mantis that's ALMOST SIX FEET TALL!!!!!!!!!"

"That's not any praying mantis you're dealing with, doc," replied Bugs, still in fright. "Around these parts, it's known as a forest mantis, and these cannibal creatures sliced every tree in its path, like those wacky mechanisms in _The Lorax._

"I speak for the trees!" shouted the Lorax.

"Are you supposed to be in some land in who-knows-where?" The Lorax miserably grabbed himself by his butt and flew away.

"Maybe this will knock the carnivorous creature off its feet!" Cortex shoots a ball of plasma at the mantis, but it had no effect on it.

"That ray gun of yours doesn't work on this guy. He's one armored bug."

"So how do we defeat it?"

"With this!" Bugs pulled out the book _1000 Ways To Make Cortex Miserable _out of his imaginary pocket.

"You actually read that indescribable crud?!"

"It's so darn popular, it's sold in over 50 languages, even dog, robot, and mummy!" Two mummies in a corner were reading the infamous book..

"Uhh uhh uhhh uhhh uhhh Uhhhhh uhh uhhhhh uh uhh uhhhhhhhh uhhh u uhhhh Uhhhh Uhhhh? (Did you know that this Cortex guy sleeps in his underwear with a dozen Pinky Bears?)" says one of the mummies.

"Uhhh'h uhhh uhhhhhh uhhhhhh'h uhhhhhhh uhh uh uhh uhhh, (That's like leaving someone's business out in the open," the other one replies.

"What good would that book do that will help us defeat this insect?" asked Neo.

"Read No. 74," told Bugs as Cortex snatches the book away from Bugs and read no. 74.

"Find Cortex a girlfriend and do something embarrassing to him that'll ruin his love life," he read aloud. "So all we need to do is find Mr. Mantis here a date and we – " Bugs walks by in a female praying mantis suit. The mantis's jaw dropped all the way to the ground, especially Cortex's, who also dropped the book.

"Hey there, boy," smacked Bugs, or should I say, Mrs. Mantis, as she walked around fabulously. "Would you care to go out on a date with me?" Now she, no wait, he – oh, never mind, she was now focusing on the mantis. "Would you volunteer?" The mantis nodded his head gleefully. . Then Bugs pulled out a boom box similar to the one in chapter 4, played it, and together s(he), Cortex, and the mantises were in leotards doing the _Single Ladies_ dance by Beyonce.

"Now follow me…" The three went down into the forest when KER-BLOOM!!!!!!! There was an explosion and they never came back.

* * *

A fire skunk crawls through the forest.

"Hey, you!" it said. "Do you know how long it takes to get from here to the Super Bowl?! That's okay, 'cause I QUIT!!!!"

Coco was busy walking through the forest, kicking the skunk out of the way, when she stumbles over Daffy Duck.

"Daffy Duck?" she was amazed. "Is that really you? What are you doing out here in the forest?"

"M3 F1ND5 1NF1N1T3 CR75TAL," responds the duck. He has some sort of contraption on his head with an antenna sticking out of it.

"Daffy, are you okay?"

"7U TH3R3. T3LL M3 OR1G1N 0F 1N1F1N1T3 CR75TAL 0R 3L53."

"Or else what?" The mind-controlled duck picks up Coco by the leg and pulls out a ray gun, pointing it towards her head. "I have no clue what you're talking about!"

"Y0U'R3 R L71NG. L1AR5 FAC3 WRATH OF CHANT3CX."

"Chantecx!"

"735, CHANT3CX."

Daffy puts a mind-controlling device on Coco's head. Now she's mind-controlled!

"WHAT A551GNM3NT5 N33D B3 D0N3?" asked Coco.

"F1ND 1N1F1N1T3 CR75TAL," replied Daffy.

"AFF1RMAT1V3." The two set off to find Crash.

* * *

The two witchdoctors Aku and Uka levitated through the forest, scanning everything in sight. One of their scannings was a black-and-white cat that goes by the name Sylvester the Cat. Like Daffy, he was hypnotized.

"T3LL M3 0F 1N1F1NT3 CR75TAL, UGL7 MA5K TH1NGAMABOB," the cat told one of them. "D0 N0T, AND U'LL 5UFF3R."

"I think he's talking to you," Uka told his brother.

"No, he's talking to _you_," Aku snapped back. "You're the ugly one."

"You're uglier!"

"No, you are the ugliest! In fact, you're the ugliest mask that ever set foot on earth!"

"I don't have feet."

"You know what I mean."

The two were bickering for such a long time Sylvester installed the mind-controlling device on their heads.

"L3T'5 ST0P 0UR B1CKER1NG AND FIND 1N1F1N1T3 CR75TAL," said Aku.

"AFF1RMAT1V3," agreed Uka.

* * *

Our favorite hero Crash just walked through the forest like everyone should, trying to avoid trouble as always, yadda yadda yadda, when he came across a robot. The robot sat on the ground under a tree. Its head was down.

"Hello?" Crash tried to wake it up. It woke up.

"Sorry about that, it's almost midnight and I keep on waking up to the noises of my fellow employees," it yawned.

"Employees?"

"I'm MECH. I may be skinny. But I was sent out here to DESTROY YOU!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Awkward."

"And now, it's time for you TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!" All the hypnotized characters in this chapter formed a large robot. Aku and Uka both shared the head, Bugs and Daffy were the arms, Coco and Cortex were the legs, and Sylvester was a ray gun.

"Say your last words, bandicoot!" MECH laughed evilly.

**End of Chapter 6**coming up next…

* * *

Crash is now thrown in this big boss battle against his allies and new allies! How will Crash defeat them? And what is this infinite crystal? Will I ever stop saying these words? Find out in **Chapter 7: Crouching Autobot: Hidden Teddy! **Yes, Transformers will be in the next chapter.

Review!


	7. Chapter 7: CA:HT

Hello, again, everyone! Sorry I kept you waiting, but ever since I got my computer fixed, my Microsoft Word's been acting up, so I decided to type this chapter in document manager. This is a two-part chapter, so enjoy!

* * *

_Previous Chapter 4:_

_On the deck of the airship Crunch, Pasadena, Tiny, and Koala Kong were finishing the rest of the clones. The others joined up with them._

"_That should take care of them," said Uka. _

_A shadowy figure was crawling around the floor and out popped Malecfor._

"_Time to take over this putrid airship once and for all!" he said._

"_No you can't!" thundered Cortex. "I'm the Prince of Darkness! ALL ABOARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!"_

"_You're not," corrected N. Trance. "Besides, there can be only one prince of darkness and you sleep with a night light on."_

"_Don't tell that to the readers! CrashGuy01! Do something!"_

"_How can I help you when I'm typing these words?!" I yelled, typing._

"_Can you at least delete N. Trance from this chapter?"_

"_That I can do." So I deleted N. Trance from the chapter and replaced him with Garfield (Garfield comics)._

"_This isn't the comic strip!" he replied. "I'm stuck in some website called FanFiction!"_

"_I want to be replaced, too!" whined Dingodile._

"_Ugh." Dingodile was replaced with Meowth (Pokemon)._

"_Where am I?" he wondered._

"_Welcome to my world," Garfield told him. "Or should I say – CrashGuy01's world."_

_Can we __**PLEASE **__continue with the story?_

"_Fine, Mr. Snippy." Garfield said sarcastically. "If you're gonna act like that, then I'm leaving."_

"_Me, too," said Meowth as they left. Suddenly Malecfor dragged them._

"_You two will be my 'servants'," he announced, hypnotizing them._

"_Plagiarizer!" I scowled._

"_Must obey Malecfor," the two hypnotized felines said. "Must destroy airship." The two press a self-destruction button. A disco ball pops up and everyone does the Soul Train Conga Line._

"_Not again!" groaned Coco._

"_You imbeciles!" roared Malecfor. "That's not the self-destruction button!" So they press another one._

"_SELF-DESTRUTION SEQUENCE STARTING IN 10…9…8…6…5…4…3…2…1…GOODBYE."_

_Malecfor disappeared, leaving Cortex and Uka behind. The airship set on fire and hurtled towards the – _

"_Don't forget to read & review!" surprised Penta, ruining the most suspenseful moment._

"_Penta!" I hollered. "You just ruined the most suspenseful moment of the story!"_

"_Fine, Mr. Persnickety/Snippy."_

_Anyway, where was I? Let's see, the airship set on fire and hurtled towards a Gummi Ship. The two ships crash towards the ground leaving an enormous explosion. Then everyone dies, the chapter is over, and I can finally quit this stinkin' job as narrator and find another occupation in these hard, economical times, like working at a gas station or selling lemonade or even–_

"_Geary!" I scowled._

_I was just kidding!_

* * *

**Chapter 7: Crouching Bandicoot, Hidden Teddy**

**Part I: The Ancient Temple of Lost and Found**

Von Clutch was on an island, his head face-first in the sand. The German cyborg woke up and looked at his surroundings. All he saw were cone-shaped idols with limbs, which were purple and had long, drooping faces.

"Teddy!" VC called out. "Teddy, were are you?" He got up and looked around. "TEDDY!!!!!!"

In the distance Fake Crash walked by, on his wheelchair.

"Dude, the bear can't talk," he said.

"He can!" VC snapped back. "When we find him, I'll prove it to you."

Around the corner, several creatures just like the ones on the idols came by. Six of them were holding a large vase. VC rushed to them.

"Have any of you zeen my teddy bear?" he asked.

"A what?" The six of them were confused.

"It's a zmall bear that haz googly eyez and a red nose."

The six creatures looked at each other then one of them said, "We'll help you find it." VC was tingling with delight, as always. "But first, we must get permission from our master, Collator." So the six purple creatures escorted VC and Fake Crash to their master.

* * *

While walking, Fake Crash asks one of the creatures a question:

"What are you?"

"We're glounces," one of them replied, who we now call Glounce #1. "We're the guardians of Gemstone Island. Without us, the island wills probably self-destruct, and any living things that inhabit here will die, no one can't come back, also this island will be taken off the map, the list goes on.

The eight finally reached the village of the Glounces. There were only several huts, and the crew entered the one in the middle of the village. There they met a tall glounce who had a shade of reddish-brown color.

"Sit," he commanded, and everyone sat down on reddish-brown pillows. "Who are the green and red ones?"

"That's Von Clutch and Fake Crash," answered Glounce #2. "We found them lying on the ground. The green guy said he was looking for his 'teddy bear'.

"In that case, you must go to the Ancient Temple of Lost and Found. Lost things are bound to show up there."

"What if my teddy izn't there?" asks VC.

"A long, long, long time ago, our ancestors used to live on this island. Then they passed away, but before that they built the temple for the people who've lost their belongings. Then those people can go here and get them. This is because the ancestors searched around this island, and they find the belongings, and bring them to the temple, hoping the lost will be found. If that bear is really important to you, then you must go – with me. The six of you stay here. I'll help these two with their troubles."

* * *

Our three heroes approached the Ancient Temple of Lost and Found, which was really huge, almost as big as the White House.

"Your teddy bear is located somewhere in this temple. Luckily, I removed all the booby traps," Collator told our two airship castaways.

"He said 'boob'," snickered Fake Crash.

Inside the temple, there were two large paintings of a bandicoot and a girl, and around them were symbols of 17 elements – Time, Fire, Earth, Life, Electricity, Ice, Space, Luna, Skill, Water, Plant, Sound, Rage, Darkness, Wind, Myth, and even Death.

"These two are the chosen ones," educated Collator. "They know all the elements that generally exist. The boy is named Gazer, and the girl is named Naminé. There locations are verified. Some shadow guys named Blade is hunting after them, so we guide them from place to place." Collator steps on a switch under Gazer. "To pass through, I must do the following dance moves." He sings and does the lyrics up ahead.

_You put your left foot in_

_You put your left foot out_

_You put your right foot in_

_And you shake it all about_

_Then you do the hokey pokey_

_And you twirl yourself around_

_That's what it's all about!_

Fake Crash was speechless. While VC clapped excitedly, one half of the door between Gazer and Naminé went down. Now Collator steps on a switch and sings and does the following lyrics:

_Raise your knee_

_Raise your other knee_

_Raise your foot_

_Raise your other foot_

_Walk in a circle_

_Do the Puppet Master!_

The other half of the door opened. Our heroes went through.

* * *

Our heroes entered a room in which there was a beam of light and darkness coming through the center. Fake Crash tried to put his hand over it.

"Don't!" warn Collator. "If you touch that beam of light and darkness, you'll return to your evil self.

"What is it, anyway?" asked Fake Crash.

"What _is_ this room, you meant? This is the Ancient Room Between Valor and Malevolence. Any fool who dares to touch that beam will switch sides in a snap. Our ancestors discovered this when building this temple."

"What would happen if thiz beam of light and darkness was destroyed?" asked VC, who was learning more about this island as much as Fake Crash and you guys are.

"Then good and evil won't have a meaning anymore. We must press on."

* * *

Our heroes entered a room were VC and Fake Crash were somewhat pink.

"What's going on?!" VC was freaking out.

"This is the Ancient Room between Intelligence and Idiocy," replied Collator. "In this room smart people like the Glounce race are purple, which is how they get their color, while on the other hand, less smart people like you two are pink. I'm very intelligent, so that's why I'm this color."

"_Maybe Coco would turn purple in this room_," Fake Crash thought.

* * *

The trio found VC's teddy bear.

"Teddy!" The German cyborg dashes towards his teddy bear. He suddenly notices drawings on the wall behind it. "What is this strange painting, ya?"

"It is **_The Dark Fate!!!!!!" _**dramatic music "That red witchdoctor Aku triggered the _**Dark Fate-" **_dramatic music,_** "**_and now history is drawing itself."

"Well, how do we stop the Dark Fate?" asked Fake Crash.

"You must defeat two forces of evil, and all will be at rest," answered Collator.

"We've found my teddy bear," VC broke in, "so let's head back to the village!"

* * *

At the village, there were drums beating. Collator was coming along with VC and Fake Crash so they could aid them with their journey.

"Fellow village people," the glounce began, "the duo Ebenezer Von Clutch and Fake Crash had showed much significance to us. I shall come along with them to help them end the**_ Dark Fate!!!!!!!" _**dramatic music "OKAY, WHO'S DOING THE BOLDING AND THE UNDERLINING AND ALL THE DRAMATIC MUSIC???????!!!!!!!!!!!"

Everyone points to CrashGuy01, who later gets crushed by a meteorite.

"That was unexpected. To the ocean!"

Several glounces built a boat in which the trio of Collator, VC, and Fake Crash got on as they sailed South.

* * *

Yes, I know, I bet that part was interesting but boring at the same time, but this one has action!

**Part II: Autobot Versus Robot**

"Say your last words, bandicoot!" MECH laughed evilly.

"Dude, you said that ever since the last chapter was updated," complied Crash.

"Who cares!" MECH points a laser arm at Crash. The bandicoot rushed behind a rock before the robot shot. However, he destroyed the rock, and Crash's Hello Kitty thong was revealed.

"I just bought this thong the other day!" angered Crash.

"That's not all I got, bandicoot!" MECH shot small laser beams at Crash. The bandicoot hides behind a tree this time, and the beams hit the tree. Then suddenly, something happened to Crash. He was hanging in midair upside down!

"How the-" wondered Crash.

"Now it's time to triwl you!" MECH triwls Crash around and around until he got so sick he through up across the arms of the robot boss.

Bugs and Daffy fell out.

"What happened?" wondered Bugs. "The last thing I remembered, I was dancing through the forest when there was this huge explosion!"

"I'm back on the ground!" realized Daffy. He begans kissing it. "Oh, how I missed you!"

"Look what you did!" screamed MECH. "You ruined my armor! Those teenagers are gonna get me for sure!"

"Teenagers?" wondered Crash.

"And for that, you will suffer the consequences!" A giant pistol appeared out of MECH's leg. It shot a large ice beam at our heroes.

"Look out!" Crash got on his feet and pushed Bugs and Daffy out of the way.

"The three of you may have dodged that move, but this time I'll cut your mortality in half!"

"Hello? We're in a K+ fanfic, and your gonna halve our mortality? Not if I can do anything about it!" Daffy whistles, and Bumblebee (Transfomers) pops out of nowhere.

"Bumblebee?" Crash gasped for breath as the autobot picked up the three by his hand and seated them within him.

"It's a bad thing you don't have anything to _spare_, autobot!" MECH rolled a large bowling bowl at Bumblebee, but Optimus Prime came by to block it with his chest.

"I'll cover you, Bumblebee!" Optimus told Bumblebee.

"Not for long!" A cord comes out of where MECH's left hand used to be. The cord then seeped into Optimus's brain, and now he totally lost his bananas! The autobot leader punches Bumblebee in the face.

"Optimus!" said Crash.

Optimus was still in trance. Bugs suddenly noticed the cord hooked to Optimus's brain.

"I have a plan! We could led Optimus farther into the forest, and the cord could snap off!" suggested Bugs.

So Bumblebee went farther into the forest, with Optimus Prime running after him. They kept on fighting until they got to the end of the forest.

But the cord did not snap off.

"Did you really think your plan would work?!" laughed MECH. "There's no way you can get it off, unless you knock off my body parts!" He covers his mouth with his hands.

"That's all the information we need!" thanked Crash.

Optimus picked up Bumblebee by the neck and threw him. But Bumblebee transformed into his car form and crushed MECH's legs, releasing Coco and Cortex and sending them into the car. He then made a U-turn, transformed, and punched MECH's face, releasing Aku and Uka. He transformed one last time and went through the torso of MECH, releasing Sylvester.

"Is everyone here?" Crash looks around the car to see everyone safe, especially Cortex, who was reading a _Playboy _magazine.

"What? I like reading _Playboy!" _The scientist wailed. "I was even the cover girl, too!"

_Anyways, _before I was rudely interrupted and horribly disturbed, Optimus quickly snapped back into reality.

"That's okay. I have backup!" In the sky there was a glowing star, but when it came closer, it turned out to be Starscream, a transformer decepticon Starscream swooped down towards our heroes, and Crash jumps on him.

"Crash!" yelled Coco.

"Get off of me, boy!" Starscream yelled, trying to shake the bandicoot off. Crash mooned the dycepticon with his thong. "AHHHHHHH! MY EYES! I CAN'T SEE A BLASTED THING!!!!"

"That's not the only trick I got up my sleeve!" Crash pulls out a lightsaber and prodded it in Starscream's left eye. Crash then jumped off the robot with Bumblebee transforming into car form and caught the bandicoot just in time. He performed this whilst Starscream crashing into MECH and together they became Starmech.

_Transformers_

_They poked me in the eye _(I made that up)

_Transformers_

_Robots in disguise!_

_Autobots wage the battle to destroy_

_The evil forces of - the Decepticons!_

(music solo)

_Transformers!_

_...Tranformers_

"Burn, baby, BURN!" Starmech began by using a flamethrower. Optimus protected Bumblebee, enduring the damage he took. Then out of nowhere, the malevolent robot hung a magnet over Bumbleebee, attracting Coco.

"I'm fed up with this!" Crash exits the story, enters my room, and grabs Zexion by the ear, who was busy dusting my desk.

"What are you doing?!" he scowled.

"None of your beeswax, you skinny piece of lump, without feelings!" Crash snapped as he grabbed Zexion's lexicon. "Where did you get this, eBay?"

"It's a Greek dictionary!"

"Shut up!" The bandicoot threw the nobody into the story. "Now use that book to rescue my sister!"

Zexion sighs and throws the book at the magnet, releasing Coco out of its hold, but then Starmech shoots at our heroes, turning Crash and Coco to babies, the Looney Tunes characters into toddlers, and Cortex back to his early twenties. Nobodies don't age, so Zexion wasn't effected.

"I'm back in my twenties!" cheered Cortex. "I can finally start my evil madman career all ove again!"

The babies and toddlers start crying.

"Aw, come on!" Cortex sings lullabies to the youngsters.

_Rock-a0bye baby_

_In the tree top_

_When the wind blows_

_The cradle will rock_

_If you keep crying_

_The cradle will drop_

_So rock-a-bye baby_

_WILL YOU PLEASE STOP?!_

That made the babies and toddlers cry even more. Starmech picked up a tree and threw it at them. Optimus came to the rescue by grabbing the tree and fling it in the sky, while in the process, flinging Zexion in the sky as well (that means double duty for me!). Soon the Fallen popped out of nowhere.

"I want to be part of the action!" he cried.

"Okay, then," Optimus said. "Defeat that guy." He points to Starmech. The Fallen pulled out a ray gun.

"I call this the _Unfusion 4008!_ I sold the other seven on eBay, including a Greek dictionary." The Fallen shot the contraption at Starmech, unfusing Starscream from his boss form. He then leaves.

"Whrere do you think you're going?" MECH asked.

"You're on your own, bub!" Starscream yelled back. MECH turned around face to face with the Fallen, and the old decepticon shot at him, returning him to his skinny self. The Fallen stepped on him.

"Hooray!" Crash and company cheered as they sang the Dora the Explorer _We Did It _song.

"What's your favorite part of the chapter?" Crash asked. -insert your favorite part here- "My favorite part was when-"

Coco kicked his brother in the manly hood.

**End of Chapter 7**

* * *

But wait, there's more!:

Meanwhile in the forest, two fisherman dudes where fishing for trout.

"Great day for fishing, eh, Dave?" The first fisherman, Bo, asked the other.

"You can say that again," Dave responded back.

"Great day for fishing, eh, Dave?"

"I didn't mean it."

Red spirits that looked like the ones from _The Princess and the Frog _swiftly drifted through the forest. One of the fishermen noticed them.

"More pesky critters!" The fisherman, Bo, gnarled. "I'll-a give them a lickin', a good one too!" Bo grabbed his gun and shot one of them, leaving behind a crimson liquid, while the others drifted foward. Bo's friend, Dave, inspected the red substance using his finger and smelled it.

"It's blood!" Dave exclaimed.

Suddenly, a dark shadow appeared over the fishermen. Then in two seconds, everything went black as they witnessed their final moment alive.

* * *

_Coming up next in the Dark Fate..._

We now turn our focus on Crunch and Pasadena, adventuring in a town several miles away from Crash and company are. Will they be able to defeat the ninjas in the chapter and their leader? The chapter also includes Jak and Daxter!


	8. Chapter 8: Hollow Dangers

I was on the computer, typing up this chapter, when there was a knock at my door. I opened it up to reveal several ninjas glaring at me.

"That's the author!" One of them pointed. "Get him!"

The ninjas attacked me, and picked me up. I tried to call my servants.

_"Penta! Yaya! Geary! Kermit!"_

I saw Penta, Yaya, and Geary being carried by the ninjas. We were all carried a rocket and shipped out to space.

* * *

**Chapter 8: Hollow Dangers**

MECH tried to crawl away while Crash and company got out of Bumblebee and jumped down.

"We did it!" cheered Sylvester as he shaked his butt around. "And you lost!" He points and laughs at the staggering robot.

"There's more where that came from!" MECH got up on his legs. "I have another present for you _right here!"_

"It's Mother's day already?" Bugs wondered, hence the fact today _is _Mother's Day.

MECH pressed a red button on his left arm, but it wasn't working.

"Come on!" he growled furiously, pressing the button harder and harder.

"Try pressing the blue button," Daffy suggested, covering his mouth with his hands later.

MECH takes Daffy's advice. The button worked. Then suddenly MECH turned into an Iron Man suit. "Now you know who the real villian is!" he said as he rose up to the sky.

"I blame _Iron Man 2,"_Coco said. "It just came out today."

MECH fired a beam of light at our heroes. They all ducked behind a tree.

"We need a plan!" Crash whispered.

"I'm right behind ya!" Daffy runs to a nearby portable potty and takes a dump.

"Everyone, grab a rock!" Coco and the others grabbed a rock and threw them at MECH. Crash didn't. "Crash, where's your rock?"

"Uh,...giggity giggity?" This is what Crash says when he has nothing else to say.

Soon MECH began charging up with energy.

"Super-ultrasonic extra-binocular energy GO!" He shoots a beam at the portable potty, revealing Daffy reading Moby Dick. Everyone, including MECH, looked at him.

"It's a very complicated life," he responded.

MECH began charging up with energy, but this time, a white aura surrounded him. Then he blasted it at our heroes.

"I ate my rock," Crash randomly said before being blasted.

But he didn't.

A massive cloud of smoke brewed, and when it faded away, it only revealed Aku and Uka hovering over MECH. The robot had lost a leg and an arm.

"What did you do?" Coco asked in amazement.

"We both used the **Mangekyō Sharingan!" **Aku said proudly.

"The Mangekyo Sharigan?" Crash wondered.

"Yes, the **Mangekyō Sharingan!" **Uka said proudly.

"Is it necessary to say it in bold?"

"It gives 'pizzazz'!" Anyways...

"You haven't seen the last of me, bandicoot!" (he's referring to Crash) said MECH as he used his arm to crawl away across the road, only to get ran over by two cars, a school bus, an ostrich, Santa's sleigh, an elephant, and a marching band. A bear snatches him by the mouth and walked away, everybody waving at him.

"Why did he mention me?" Crash wondered.

"Well, Crash, you see..." Aku began.

"Hey, look, a crystal!" Crash ran over to where MECH was lying an picked up a crystal glowing in many colors. Optimus's eyes widened. "I'll name you-"

"Halt!" The Autobot leader interrupted.

"Good one, Optimus! I'll name you Halter!"

"Everybody, you have to leave here, know!" Optimus yelled. Bugs packed up his belongings and left. "I'm talking about Crash and his accomplices!" Bugs returns, grim-faced. "Chantecx hired ninjas robots to capture those crystals. If he collects them all and generate their energy, it will be the end of the world as we know it! They're probably watching us as we speak!"

"Awesome!" cheered Crash. "Ninja robots!"

"This is serious news! You must leave here NOW! See that creek up ahead? Follow the yellow brick road and you'll meet your friends."

"Why's there a yellow brick road anyway?" asked Coco.

"I'm not the author of this story! As I was saying, you must go, quickly."

So our heroes set off and went down the yellow brick road (which I came up of, of course) with the crystal in hand. While the others were waving, three hooded figures were crouching behind a bush.

"That's the one," the leader pointed to Crash. "The one in the jeans."

"Why are we following him?" The big one asked.

"Shut up, or I'll have you out of the society! We have to fulfill **the Dark Fate **-dramatic music- so we can alter the lives of people!" The leader turns the skinny cloaked figure. "Serena, pass me the shaver. We have some rescuing to do!"

* * *

At Malefor's Lair, Malefor was sitting in his chair and pressed a button on a TV remote to reveal Chantecx on a flat-screen TV.

"What do you want?" The greenish-yellow dragon sighed. "I'm on a field trip with my graduates!"

"CHANTECX, CHARLES'S BEEN BITTEN BY A MOSQUITO AND IT'S IMBIBING HIS BRAIN!" A black-haired girl named Will yelled in the background.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY BRAIN! MY BRAIN!" Charles ran around, screaming at the top of his lungs, as a giant mosquito on top of his head injected venom into his brain. He then crashed into the camera. After a snowy screen, there was a picture of Will clutching Charles by the neck and beating him up. There was text, which said: WE ARE EXPERINCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. Garfield came up to Malefor.

"You want me to do something during the technical difficulties?" he asked.

"Garfield, put this diaper on and say this." Malefor gave him a diaper and a slip of paper.

"There's no way I'm doing this."

"Do it or I'll take away your verbal freedom."

"Ain't buyin'."

"Then I'll take away your lasagna."

"Okay, okay, I'll do it!" So Garfield put on the diaper and said the most embarrassing thing in his life:

"My name is Garfield and I made a poo-poo in my diapey."

Malefor, Meowth and I laughed hysterically.

"I find this humorously amusing," snickered Meowth.

* * *

Crunch and Pasadena woke up to find themselves at a quicksand inlet. They were surrounded by ninja robots (awesome!).

"What are ya fools lookin' at?!" Crunch was the first to speak. "Crunch got somethin' on his face?"

"They don't look friendly," said Pasadena.

The first ninja threw a shuriken at the duo. They ducked before it exploded.

"You trying' to kill da Crunch?!" snapped the muscle-bound bandicoot. "This is starting to get personal!" He smacked several ninjas with his metallic hand.

"I'm right behind you buddy!" Pasadena pulls out a flamethrower and burns her foes. "Von Clutch gave me this on my 13th birthday!"

A ninja grabs his sword and hit Crunch with it but the muscleman strikes back by picking him up and throwing him into the quicksand. Another ninja tried to use martial arts to defeat Pasadena but she does the matrix and kicks him into the quicksand.

"Retreat!' The remaining ninjas zoomed away quicker than the human eye.

"That was a good workout," says Crunch. "I needed that."

Our two heroes approached an egleant sign that said "Welcome to Ruin Hollow." Up ahead there were civilians walking around.

"Let's ask these people if they have any intel about Malefor," Pasadena told Crunch as they stepped foward.

* * *

_Meanwhile, at Malefor's Lair..._

"Meowth, turn on the TV again," he ordered. Meowth turned on the TV to reveal Chantecxsoaking Charles's head in a tub of water. The school nurse stood next to Chantecx.

"What's going on?!" The chameleon gurgled in the water.

"Chantecx, I need to dispose one of the bandicoot's accomplices," said Malefor. "Do you have anyone to do the job?"

"In fact, I have two." Chantecx pressed a button and a poison dart frog appeared before Malefor's very eyes. "His name is Xavier. I'll send the other on when things go as planned. I wonder where she could be?"

The TV went off as Xavier leaped away.

* * *

While walking down the creek, Coco noticed two corpses whom where in the water. She picked them up and when she saw them, she would go all OMG and stuff. Crash and the others examined them while Coco took blood samples she took from the corpses.

"So what's the 411?" Crash asked.

"Apparently, these two unfortunate fishermen had their blood sucked-" Coco paused before saying in amazement "-_by vampire blood! _The vampire blood was so strong that it proved fatal to these men!_"_

Everyone gasped.

"This should be on _Weird, True, and Freaky!" _exclaimed Cortex.

"You craven!" Uka boomed at Cortex. "That show airs on Animal Planet!"

"As I was saying, the genetic codes I got from the blood samples revealed the murderer to be a female vampire. Her powers are far more powerful than expected, so this might happen to us..."

* * *

Back at Ruin Hollow, Crunch knocked on the door of a house. A woman holding a baby in her arms opened.

"Do you know anything about this guy?" Crunch showed her a picture of Malefor.

"Only the Wise One knows about him." the woman closes the door.

"Let us in, fool!" Crunch hollered outside. The baby started started to cry as the woman put him away in his crib in the one-house room. It had a couch, and five hooded figures in red, dark blue, purple, green, and light green robes sat on it. Their faces were shrouded within their hoods. The leader in the red robe spoke up.

"Did you tell them?" he asked.

"Yes, sir," the woman replied.

"Now, we proceed with our plans." The leader stood up and turned to his accomplices. "Let's go now, brothers and sisters."

"We're related?" The purple hooded figure said, standing up.

"Avon, we spoke of this before! Stop acting silly!"

"Sorry, Veilnor." Avon sat back down.

"Today, we shall eradicate Grantor. He may be as well the key of the _**Dark Fate" -**_dramatic music- "and our inventor."

Outside, Pasadena sighed to herself as Crunch began eating nachoes from a nacho stand.

* * *

A civilian strolled through the streets of Ruin Hollow when he stopped and fell on the ground unconscious. Xavier had sneak up on him and used his poison touch on him. He also stole a device similar to a GPS.

"This will help me find Crash's accomplices," he thought. "And wash the dishes." He selected Ruin Hollow, revealing two blinking red dots on the map.

"Bingo."

* * *

Crunch and Pasadena roamed through the town of Ruin Hollow in search of the wise one.

"No gold yet," sighed Pasadena.

"There's gold!" Crunch spoke up.

Ninja robots appeared. Local civilians took notice.

"There's more of them?!" barked Crunch. "That means more workout for me!" He knocks one ninja out with his fist. Pasadena, on the other hand, used grenades - atomic grenades.

"I sure hope you know E=MC squared," she punned, "'cause that's how these babies were invented!" She stick the grenades to her foes and they exploded. The smoke cleared up, and there was no one in sight. Civilians came out of their houses, cheering.

"That was AWESOME!" cheered Crunch. "Where did you get those?"

"I got these on my 12th birthday!" Pasadena replied.

Up ahead was a house that read "Grantor: The Wise One".

"We found the gold treasure!" Pasadena and Crunch ran towards the house. They knocked on the door, and the house fell down, revealing the five hooded figures we just saw earlier in this chapter. They took off their hoods. Veilnor had long dark brown hair and dark blue eyes, the dark blue hooded guy was dark-skinned, had black dreadlocks, and brown eyes, Avon has black eyes and black hair, which was somewhat messy, and the green-hooded girl had long light brown hair and yellow eyes. The light green hooded girl did not take off her hood at all. All four of them (excluding the light green girl) had something in common - they all had strange markings on their faces, depending on their cloaks.

"Who are you fools?" growled Crunch.

"We're the **Adauchi Clan!" **the leader Veilnor said triumphantly.

"Japanese for vengeance!" Avon stated.

"Be quiet!" Veilnor slaps his accomplice. "Our goals here is to avenge Grantor for our inventor's destruction!"

"Why avenge him?" Pasadena asked. "You could do something else besides revenge."

"We don't CARE!" Flames spurred around Veilnor. "Felix! Avon! Agape! Nadja! Take down these pitiful fools while I have a meeting with the badger!" Veilnor disappeared into flames as the others rushed forth to our heroes.

"We're right behind ya!'" Pasadena whistles and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles entered the scene (insert TMNT theme). Pasadena and Crunch sat down and relaxed.

Donatello took on Felix. He tried hitting him with his staff, but then Felix did something strange: he turned into a werewolf, hence the fact that there was no moonlight, and used his claws to break Donatello's weapon in half.

"That's okay," the turtle smirked. "I can manhandle a werewolf!" He grabbed Felix's claws, which were scratching him, and hurled him off a cliff.

Meanwhile, Leonardo was destroying the spinning data clusters Avon was releasing by using his kantanas.

"Yo your great-grandmama's grandma!" Avon joked.

"I never even had a mom! Or so I think." Leonardo used his katanas as boomerangs and threw them around getting all data clusters. He then pushed Avon off a ledge.

"A-ha!" Michelangelo threw his nunchucks at Agape, but the fact of her being a ghost made the attack invunerable.

"Super-size me!" The ghost overshadowed Michelangelo, but then Michelangelo farted, releasing Nadja from his fumes.

"Kourtney Kardashian!" Rapheal throws the reality star at Nadja, but misses only a few millimeters.

"WE get to use other people?" asked Leonardo.

_"Sure, just as long as you play nice."_

"In that case, ZEXION!" Leonardo points to a cloaked figure falling from the sky and knocking Nadja off the cliff.

"That was too easy," Donatello panted.

"Lemme see!" Michelangelo grabbed the lexicon from the dazed Zexion and chanted: "_Summonus Accomplicus?"_

Suddenly Benjamin Bandicoot (SSS75's OC) randomly appeared. He looks around at his surroundings.

"What did I missed?" he asked.

"We need you to save someone," Pasadena told him.

"I'm in."

Crunch, Pasadena, Benjamin, and Zexion walked together to accomplish the task.

* * *

Commercial break!

In this ad, Cortex is wearing a bikini and holding a cereal box.

"Hey there, men! Do you want to have manly muscles just like me?" The cameraman did a close-up on Cortex's muscles, then throws up.

"Then you should try my new cereal, Cortex Crunch! It's loaded with sugar, corn, and more sugar! Also, its a great source of zinc, riboflavin, thinamin, calcuim, and phophorus. We'll give you a 7-day trial to test out this cereal. And if you don't do it, you'll never eat cereal _**ever **_again!"

"Plus, if you're lucky, you could win a free bikini!"

"And if you're even luckier, you could win my book 1000 Ways to Make Cortex's Life Miserable, signed by ME!" Tropy broke in.

"Get that indespicable piece of crap out of my face!" Cortex knocks the book out of Tropy's hand and chases him around.

* * *

Our four heroes encountered a building with a shurekin on it.

"This must be the ninja base," Zexion complied as they entered.

"Benjamin, Zexion, you go that way," Pasadena pointed. "Me and Crunch will go that way."

* * *

The possum and the bandicoot sneaked into a room with two ningas sitting on a sofa and watching a soap opera on TV.

"Oh, Dan, I'm pregnant..." sobbed the female actor.

"This is the eigth time this week," sighed Dan.

Crunch sneaked up behind them and clobbered their heads together. More ninjas appeared.

"Intruders!" they complied.

"Hey, look, it's Lady Gaga!" Pasadena pointed.

"Where?" The ninjas looked around, only to realize that they've been fooled. Pasadena quickly threw grenades at them, and the the blast was strong enough to fling them in the air. Crunch jumped up and punched the dazed ninjas. Using a machine gun, Pasadena shot them all. The ninjas all fell down.

"Easiest - workout - ever!" Crunch flexed his muscles in victory. Then suddenly, out of a dark corner, a poison dart frog appeared. "Who are you, punk?!"

"The name's Xavier," the frog replied. "And I came from the dark side!" The frog pulled out a flashlight and pointed it at his face, laughing.

"You just turned off the lights just for suspense," Pasadena complied.

"Yes, yes I did. And I have the power of death!" Xavier shows off his power by spitting a ball of poison at Crunch. The bandicoot falls down, poisoned.

"Do you mean poison?" Pasadena asked as she tried to rescue Crunch.

"Death sounds more demanding. Now DIE!!!!!" The frog leaps in the air, and spits a black sphere at Pasadena.

* * *

Meanwhile, Ben and Zex were handling ninjas on their own. Ben punched six, while Zex shot meteors out of his lexicon and at the ninjas. Soon the duo were the only ones in the room they were in...until now.

"There's more enemies coming our way," said Zexion. "I can smell them..."

Ben backs away.

Suddenly, red spirits raced all over the room. Ben punched. Zex shot. But it all was no use.

"There's too many of them!" said Zex.

"You think?!" Ben said sarcastically.

Then one by one, the spirits disappeared. Then a blonde with bangs covering her right eye appeared.

"And you are?" Ben asked.

"I am a VAMPIRE!" the blonde said proudly. "Named Serena."

"Do you read Twilight?"

"Yes, and no. But with the power of the moon, I shall be more powerful then the Cullens combined!"

Using her left hand, Serena points it at the moon (wherever that is) and covers it over the sun.

* * *

"I have to pee!" Von Clutch whined. He was on a ship with Fake Crash and Collator.

"Why didn't you go back at the isle?!" Fake Crash asked.

"I didn't have to use it until zen!"

The trio approached a mini mart on a patch of land. Collator parked their ship at a port.

"Why are we here?" Fake Crash asked.

"I know a friend here who can accompany in our journey," Collator replied.

Our heroes entered a mini mart, and they saw a light-brown haired woman tinkering with a walkie-talkie. Her hair was in a ponytail.

"Friends, I would like to introduce you to my friend, Yvette," Collator introduced.

"Hey," Fake Crash waved. Yvette greeted him by flipping him and putting him in a scissors lock.

"Who was the czar of Russia after WW1?!" she quizzes.

"I DON'T KNOW!" Fake Crash screamed in pain. Yvette applies more pain. "UNCLE! UNCLE!"

"Yvette, stop!" Collator boomed.

"Sorry," Yvette apoligized. "It's my nature."

"I'm gonna use the bathroom now." Fake Crash gets up and on his wheelchair and wheeled to the men's restroom, only to find a set of stairs. He then goes down, only to fall and land face-first on the floor. When he looked up, he saw a cheetah and a brown-haired girl.

"Hello, Fake Crash," the girl said. "We've been expecting you."

** End of Chapter 8**

The ninjas I've been talking about earlier in the chapter flinged us in a cell.

And then, we saw Jak and Daxter.

"Hello, CrashGuy01," he replied. "We've been expecting you."


	9. Chapter 9: Superstars, Vampires, and UC

Bonjour, Dark Fate fans! Welcome to another awesome, humorous, and somewhat disturbing chapter of the Dark Fate! –Dramatic music- And thanks to your support, I have **over 30 REVIEWS! **As a treat for your reviews, I have decided to invite two special people in the story – WWE Champion John Cena (WWE)and Robert Pattinson, in honor of _Eclipse_! (I was planning to update this chapter on the day of the premiere, but I couldn't wait.) Now SCREAM!

"You heard da man!" Penta shouted. "SCREAM!"

Now, if you read the last chapter, I and the others (Penta, Yaya, and Geary) are kinda in a sticky situation…

"Hurry up! We don't have all day!" Daxter boomed behind us, who was resting of Jak's shoulder (Jak and Daxter)

"_I'm done!" _I turned towards the duo. Dak had his arms folded.

"Now look here CrashGuy01," Daxter began, "we don't want any trouble, just give us what we want and we won't cause any trouble."

"_Never!" _I squeezed through the cell bars and ran away like a lunatic, leaving behind two movie tickets. Penta picked them up.

"They're just two _Twilight _tickets," he said. "I can't believe we were sent here to give Jak and Daxter these."

A policeman threw me back in the cell and locked the doors. I was at Penta's feet.

"You made us come here so we can deliver these?" Penta held out the tickets. "I should beat you to a pulp."

* * *

_Previous Chapter 8 (The following excerpt chapter is a work of CrashGuy01. Anyone who copies it will be sued.)_

_"I have to pee!" Von Clutch whined. He was on a ship with Fake Crash and Collator._

_"Why didn't you go back at the isle?" Fake Crash asked._

_"I didn't have to use it until zen!"_

_The trio approached a mini mart on a patch of land. Collator parked their ship at a port._

_"Why are we here?" Fake Crash asked._

_"I know a friend here who can accompany in our journey," Collator replied._

_Our heroes entered a mini mart, and they saw a light-brown haired woman tinkering with a walkie-talkie. Her hair was in a ponytail._

_"Friends, I would like to introduce you to my friend, Yvette," Collator introduced._

_"Hey," Fake Crash waved. Yvette greeted him by flipping him and putting him in a scissors lock._

_"Who was the czar of Russia after WW1?" she quizzes._

_"I DON'T KNOW!" Fake Crash screamed in pain. Yvette applies more pain. "UNCLE! UNCLE!"_

_"Yvette, stop!" Collator boomed._

_"Sorry," Yvette apologized. "It's my nature."_

_"I'm gonna use the bathroom now." Fake Crash gets up and on his wheelchair and wheeled to the men's restroom, only to find a set of stairs. He then goes down, only to fall and land face-first on the floor. When he looked up, he saw a cheetah and a brown-haired girl._

_"Hello, Fake Crash," the girl said. "We've been expecting you."_

* * *

**Chapter 9: Superstars, Vampires, and Utter Chaos**

Fake Crash looked up at the two. The cheetah had spots as usual; the brown-haired girl had a white shirt and skirt.

"Were you guys stalking me or something?" the bandicoot asked.

"I'm Garrard," the cheetah points at himself. "This is Eileen." He then points to the girl. "We were sent by our school principal Chantecx to follow your every movement…" Garrard calms. "…and when the time is nigh, we DESTROY YOU!' He growls, scaring the crap out of Fake Crash.

"So let me get this straight," Fake Crash got up. "You guys spied on me, and then you attack if we encountered, right?"

"Exactly," Eileen replied.

"In that case..." Fake Crash turns towards the staircase he fell down. "VON CLUTCH! COLLATOR! I THINK WE HAVE SOME PEOPLE TO BEAT UP!"

"That must be Fake Crash!" Collator gasped. "We must attend to him immediately!" Collator and VC went down the staircase they saw in the boy's restroom.

"Wait, Collator!" Yvette ran to her friend. She gives him the device she was tinkering with. "I would suggest to use this when you're fighting with who-knows-who. You can use it to summon anyone of your desire.

"Thanks!" Collator went down the stairs and encountered the duo.

"Who are they?" VC asked. Garrard and Eileen introduced themselves and then VC said something random to Garrard:

"What's your favorite NFL team?"

"That was entirely random," Eileen was the first to say something after a long period of silence. "But who cares. It might be the last question you might ask."

Suddenly Garrard formed into a brick wall and flanked around the others. There was no way to go.

"Are you ready to dance?" asked Eileen.

"I got to get my dancing boots first!" whined VC.

"Don't worry about those." Eileen rose into the air. "You'll be just fine without them." She then flings chunks of ice at our heroes. The trio dodged them unscathed.

"I have to use this device or else we all will be doomed!" Collator uses the device Yvette gave him and pressed a button. Out of nowhere, John Cena appeared, shaving.

"What are you three staring at?" he asked.

"Hello, I'm Collator, and the green-skinned guy's Von Clutch and the marsupial in the wheelchair is Fake Crash, anyways, HELP US BEAT THAT GIRL!" He points to Eileen.

"I'm out." Cena leaves the restroom.

"Chill out!" Eileen fires a ball of ice out of her right hand and shoots it at Von Clutch. He turns into an icicle.

"Von Clutch!" Fake Crash broke VC out of the ice and throws him at Eileen, knocking her down.

"What was vat for?" VC was angry.

"I said, CHILL OUT!" Eileen fires another ball of ice at Collator. However, the purple creature formed an O shape in which the ball zipped through the opening. He then formed back to his normal self.

"How are we gonna beat her?" Cena asked. "I never put my hands on girls!"

"That leaves an opening for me!" Eileen spits out saliva at Cena, which turn into ice, and pierces him. Fake Crash got up off from his wheelchair to attack Eileen again.

"I can walk?" The bandicoot looks down. "I CAN WALK!" He dodges all of Eileen's frozen spitballs and punched her in the face.

"I'm sorry!" he apologized. "Let me see..." This time he elbows her.

"Fake Crash!" Collator scowled. "That's no way to manhandle a girl! You have to do this:"

Collator got on Eileen's back and grabbed her by the neck. Eileen turns her body into ice, freezing Collator's hands. Cena and Von Clutch just watched.

"Beat zer! Beat zer!" VC chanted.

"Can't...move my hands..." Collator struggled to get free. Then a flash of ice sent Collator into the air. Once back on ground, he pins Eileen.

"Normally, I don't beat up girls, but you prompted me to do it!" Before he could perform a STFU, Collator got blasted by Eileen's freezing breath, which had ice shards in it. Collator dodged them and they jabbed Cena, digging into his skin. The superstar fell and rolled away, impaled by the shards of ice.

Fake Crash, Von Clutch, and Collator (from behind the wall) gasped in unison.

"She actually hurt a WWE superstar..." Fake Crash said.

"Yeah..." Collator added.

Eileen got up and blasted a current of ice at Von Clutch. The German robot jumped away.

"Good heavens!" he shook his head. "Such a rude teenager! I can't believe your on principal doesn't even expel you!" VC got out his cucumber shotgun and jumped towards Eileen.

"Here's an uppercut you'll never forget, you green-skinned freak!" Eileen turned her fist into ice and clashed with VC. The result was an explosion of ice and animal crackers.

"Penta, stop messing around!" Yaya slaps the penguin silly. Anyway, the result was an explosion of ice and cucumbers. VC and Eileen were standing a distance from each other, huffing and puffing.

"You're really good, ya?" VC smiled.

"So are you," Eileen smiled back.

Von Clutch passed out.

Eileen rushed toward the unconscious cyborg with a spear of ice in her right hand, but the cyborg grabbed her hand

"You fought I was seriously hurt, ya?" he grinned. "NOW HERE'S A THROW YOU'LL NEVER FORGET, YOU MANIAC!"

With one powerful throw, VC does the U Can't See Me and trashes Eileen into the brick wall, and then the walls came tumblin' down!

Cena and Fake Crash walked near Eileen. Collator crawled.

"It's over, Eileen," said Cena. "Why don't you go and cry home to your mom?"

Suddenly, the bricks formed back into Garrard.

"So your name is Garrard, is it? Did your mom name you after the football player – from Jacksonville?"

"Well for your information, I was born _way _before the team that player's in was founded – Jacksonville Jaguars, of the NFL!"

"David Garrard?" VC asked.

"Shut up!" Garrard leaped towards VC, but was tackled by Cena.

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm going upstairs." Fake Crash went back upstairs.

* * *

Back at Ruin Hollow, the purplish-blue poison dart frog Xavier stared at the mesh of poison that he shot at Pasadena.

But Pasadena was nowhere in sight, despite the fact that she _did _get hit.

"Boo!"

Pasadena snuck up on the poison dart frog and scared the living crap out of him. In one nanosecond, Xavier was hanging on the wall, saying to himself, _"I love my life, I love my life..." _repeatedly.

"You have the so-called power of death, and you still take a joke?" Pasadena snorted.

"Oh, yeah?" Xavier pointed at Crunch, who got up. "Look! Your friend is now a cynical slave, and soon you'll be one too!"

Pasadena looked at her sidekick. Crunch had purple spots on his skin, and his were yellow.

The poisoned Crunch immediately got Pasadena in a sleeper hold. Xavier walked up to her with his arms folded behind his back.

"Now, Pasadena, I want you to take a look at this picture." The poison dart frog held out a picture in front of Pasadena's face. It was him in a thong.

"Don't look at that!" Xavier took the picture away. "That was just a picture for a project." Xavier got out another picture and puts it in front of Pasadena's face.

"As of three weeks ago, I took some pictures, like this:" The drawing had Crash, Coco, Fake Crash, Crunch, Cortex, Nina, Von Clutch, Pasadena, Collator, Yvette, a black-tailed ferret and a wildebeest. Around them were the 17 elements - Time, Fire, Earth, Life, Electricity, Ice, Doom, Luna, Skill, Water, Plant, Sound, Rage, Darkness, Wind, Myth, and Death. "This represents _The Dark Fate_, a prophecy believed that if a hero (which is Crash) doesn't stop the villian (who started _The Dark Fate)_ before time, the entire world would fall in darkness."

"Now look at this picture." Xavier holds up another picture, this time with an orange bandicoot and an orange haired girl dressed in black and green. It seemed it was raining in the background of the picture. "These are the chosen ones, Gazer and Naminé. Here's the final pic."

The final drawing had Gazer fighting with a bandicoot in silver armor. This face head had a helmet with a T-shaped opening in front of it.

"This is Gazer, fighting his opposite, Rezag. Rezag is the hypothetical key to the Dark Fate." –dramatic music-

"How is he?" Pasadena asked. Crunch applied more pain to Pasadena's neck as the possum lad struggled to get free.

"I'm the person who can speak here!" Xavier leaned towards Pasadena's face and blew into her face. His breath was purple with the stench of poison, and it made Pasadena choke and gag.

"As I was saying, your counterpart Crash is the hero destined to defeat both Malefor and Chantecx alive, but he has no chance against them both!"

"Chantecx?" Pasadena raised her eyebrow. "Who's Chantecx?"

"Shut up!" Xavier slapped Pasadena so hard her face would bleed. "This is none of your business, even if you _try _to thwart the Dark Fate! Now if you'll excuse me, I have a mission to accomplish!" Xavier shrouded Pasadena with a violet slime and was about to perform a special move.

"Nighty-night, failure!"

"Leave the girl alone..."

Xavier looked to his left and was stunned.

It was Benjamin Bandicoot.

"But...how did you...defeat..."

"However said I beat up a vampire?" Benjamin smirked. "Since this story is entirely random, I decided to invite a vampire to take my place!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Serena – the vampire from the last chapter how caused the eclipse, not to mention her mechanical body and beautifully short blond hair – was busy orbiting the moon with her hand. The only heroes who can stop him is the emotionless Zexion and his new ally, Edward Cullen.

"Hey, where's Robert Patttison?" Penta interrupted.

"You stupid, Edward _is _Robert Pattison!" Yaya smacked Penta beside his head.

"I thought he was a vampire."

Anyways...

"What's going on?" Edward asked.

"The vampire is trying to control the moon to cause an eclispe," Zexion explained as the air around Serena turned into a crimson red. "Once it is in position, she can unleash her full power."

"What's her weakness?"

"All vampires have a weakness, like you do. This is a different vampire, and it'll take us fovever to find her vulnerability."

Finally the moon was in front of the sun. Serena looked at her oppenents. Her entire right eye matched the color of blood, and her pupil looked like that of a snake. Speaking of blood, it guzzled out of her mouth.

"Aren't you going to say something?" Edward snapped.

Serena opened her mouth as blood seeped out. Zexion was observing this.

"It seems that this vampire can't speak during her stage," he concluded. "If we can easily target the right eye, she'll be sapless."

Serena fired a large, moon-like eyeball at our heroes. Edward dodged it using his agility, but Zexion didn't, since he was busy with his stupid observations.

However, Serena was agile, too, and she chased Edward around the room as if they were playing tag. Serena shot another eyeball at Edward, who dodged it again, then another one. She kept on doing this, over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over again, until she gave up. So she summoned her spirits to attack Edward, but that proved fruitless as well. So this time she used enough power to summon a gigantic ball, which was crimson red, while Zexion used his power to summon a illusional meteor from his lexicon.

"If both the meteor and the ball hit each other at the same time, it would create an explosion big enough to target the vampire and her eye," he said to himself as both nobody and vampire shot at the same time, in which the meteor and the ball will hit each other on impact.

* * *

Meanwhile, Benjamin was trying to block the poisoned Crunch's attacks with Xavier and Pasadena watching when an explosion rocked the building and a giant hole was formed to the right. Zexion came out, followed by Edward, who was carrying Serena on his back. The vampire had lost her right eye completely.

Then Zexion explained to everyone how he discovered Serena's weakness, which would take so long I wouldn't want to say another word, I would rather go and sleep through the entire chapter, yadda yadda ya, anyways, after his lecturing, Benjamin and Crunch continued with their fight. Crunch went for this super punch, but then Benjamin blocked it with his Black Blade. As Crunch pressured down on the warrior, Benjamin pushed the bandicoot with his blade and punched Crunch in the nose. Crunch headbutted Benjamin and Crunch retaliated with a punch, knocking Benjamin unconscious.

"Say your last words, bandicoot!" Xavier snarled as Crunch went for another punch.

Then suddenly, another explosion came about, and above our heroes were Veilnor, Felix, Avon, Agape, and Nadja.

"Not again," Pasadena sighed.

* * *

Meanwhile, at the gas station, John Cena (awesome!) and Garrard were staring each other down.

"This is a great way to start a battle," Collator said. "The two opponents stare down each other, looking for weak points."

Then the fight began. Cena and Garrard got in a grapple hold, trying to wear each other down. Then the jaguar tried to kick Cena in the bread basket, if you know what that is, but the former WWE Champion countered and chopped Garrard's back. When Garrard got back on his walking stance he went for a high kick, but Cena leaned back to dodge it and punched Garrard. The punch sent the spotted animal to the floor, but the jaguar got back on his feet. He went again for the high kick once more but Cena punched him again, followed by a devastating uppercut. Garrard fell to the ground unconscious, and Cena threw him next to his partner, Eileen.

"Who's up for a slushie?" The professional wrestler asked. Collator and VC raised their hands and went upstairs.

**End of Chapter 9**

The next chapter is going to be BIG! You readers can decide what you want to happen in the **Chapter 10: Crash Snags a Girlfriend, **in celebration of my tenth chapter! All you have to do is tell me what you want to happen in the next chapter in your reviews, and your ideas will come to life! So if you want the next chapter, share your ideas!


	10. Chapter 10: Crash Snags a Girlfriend

"Good morning and a cockle-doodle-doo to you all, _Dark Fate _fans! This is Chick Gizzardlips, alongside with my partner Stew. So Stew, how do you feel about the tenth chapter of the story?"

"Come again?" asked Stew.

"You know, the tenth chapter of the story? CG01 didn't have time to work on it because of _Madden."_

"What does Joe Madden have to do with the story?"

"Never mind. Speaking of which, today we invited a special guest to this special occasion! This square-head guest is always a failure, and his arch-nemesis published a top-selling book about him. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, Dr. Nitrus Brio!" The bald scientist appeared, and the audience cheered.

"Thank you everyone for inviting me to this extraordinary occasion!" he said. "So, why am I here again?"

"You're the narrator of the chapter!" The audience cheered.

* * *

**Chapter 10: Crash Snags a Girlfriend**

Crash, Coco, Cortex, Aku, and Uka were wandering through the forest. And the two dead bodies? Well, let's just say Uka burned them and threw their ashes in the lake. Anyways, our heroes approached a Burger King restaurant.

"A restaurant in the middle of a forest?" wondered Cortex. "How convenient."

While our heroes entered said restaurant, Uka saw a two comets head from the sky heading towards the forest.

Meanwhile, Malefor's two feline servants Meowth and Garfield were walking through Ruin Hollow when they looked up in the sky and saw two comets – green and black – heading towards Earth. Garfield pulled out a walkie-talkie.

"They're here," he replied. The guy in the walkie-talkie laughed evilly.

* * *

On an island far away from Gemstone Island, Sonic the Hedgehog was resting peacefully in a hammock when he saw a purple comet crash on Gemstone Island. Sonic grinned, and zipped off, hoping to start a new adventure.

In some anonymous city which I hadn't came up for a name yet, N. Trance and N. Gin where in a pet shop, when N. Trance saw several comets head in the sky.

"Saiyan comets," he thought as he continued to look at the pets.

* * *

Once our heroes entered the restaurant, Cortex had to use the restroom _really _bad (hehe), so he went to do handle his business, but when he came out of the restroom, he would hear Nina's voice the women's restroom. He quickly rushed back to the others, and told him what he heard.

"Nina's using an army of girls to thwart the Dark Fate –dramatic music -?" Uka boomed. "Why didn't I think of that before?"

"This is serious, Uka!" said Aku. "Someone has to disguise as a girl and sneak into the restroom, snatch Nina, and tail it back out of there! I vote for Cortex to do it."

"No way!" begged Cortex. "I already dressed up as Coco in Crash Twinsanity, and I'm not doing it again!"

Coco growled and beat up the N head.

"Stop!" boomed Crash. "I'll do it."

Everyone in the restaurant gasped.

"DO YOU PEOPLE HAVE LIVES?" bellowed Uka. Everyone went back to what they were doing.

* * *

So Crash entered the women's restroom, dressed up like a girl, and saw Nina and a bunch of other girls. He did what Uka told him to do – sneak up on Nina, gag her, put her in a bag, and make a run for it. But before he could leave, he saw someone more appealing than Nina...

"Hey!" Nina growled.

* * *

"I can't believe I'm saying this," Uka said. "But I hope Crash at least brought one hot girl out of the restroom."

"Me too," Aku said. Coco rolled her eyes.

In a matter of minutes, Crash came out with Nina and some other girl walked out too. She was dressed in all black - black jacket, black skirt, black motorcyle boots that came to her knees. She had bright red hair like fire and a skull tattoo on her hand.

"Ooh-la-lah," Aku and Uka said in unison. Ulala (Space Channel 5) walked up to the two and slapped them both.

"Hey, everyone, meet my new girlfriend!" Crash said. "Her name is Flora, and she's gonna help us defeat Chantecx and Malefor. Isn't that right?"

"Yeah," Flora replied. "I could get my friends to help us."

"I hope your friends are female," said UkaUka. He got slapped again.

"Well, lead us to 'em!" So everyone followed Flora, with four strange figures trailing them.

* * *

Flora guided our heroes to the middle of Gemstone Forest, where there was a large tent.

"I have one more think to tell you guys," she whispered. "My friends are a bunch of _fresh posers."_

"What's a fresh poser?" asked Uka.

"A fresh poser is some guy who walks around drunk."

"Ah."

When they entered the tent, the saw three male teenagers.

"I would present to you my friends - Darnell, Otto, and Twist."

Darnell was a hyena with tattos written all over his body. Otto was a river otter with a bandage wrapped around his left eye. And Twist was some dude wearing baggy clothes and a loudspeaker for a head. All three were drinking out of red cups and watching a pre-recorded football game: 1982 NFC Championship, Dallas Cowboys at San Franciso 49ers.

"See? Told you they were drunk," Flora said.

"I'm not drunk!" protested Twist. Coco grabbed his cup and poured out what was actually beer.

Aku levitated to the three.

"Are any of you dating?" he asked.

The trio looked at each other and said "No" in unison.

"Awwwwwwww..." Aku moaned.

Suddenly, a loud explosion rocked the forest. Our heroes went outside to see what is was.

* * *

Our heroes entered the center of the forest, where they found Charles, Zebrahead, Kyo, and Margaret - the same girl Crash saw in her vision.

"What are you creeps doing here?" Coco asked. "And who's that girl?"

Then Margaret went on full blast about her life and stuff.

* * *

Commercial break!

The commercial featured Sonic the Hedgehog.

"My name is Sonic - Sonic the Hedgehog! And I'm here to tell you about my newest product, Sonic Shine! You can use it to turn you suckish yellow teeth into pearly whites, just like mine! And if you don't believe me, then wait until you hear these Sega folks!

Eggman'sPOV

"Even though Sonic may be my nemesis, his product still works!"

Jacky Bryant's POV

"I love it! Now I can attract all the ladies I want!"

Shadow the Hedgehog's POV

"I hate it. It broke my teeth and gave me oral cancer. We're talking about that Sonic Shine crap? I thought you were mentioning Sonic in general."

RyoHazuki'sPOV

"Sonic Shine brightens my teeth. Can I leave now?"

Mario's POV

Mario didn't last that long, for he was tasered by security guards for not being a Sega character.

Nick Cannon's POV

"I may not be part of the Sega franchise, but this product is HOT!"

"So what are you waiting for? Get Sonic Shine today!"

(Note: The creators of Sonic Shine are not responsible for you or the product.)

* * *

Once Margaret was finished with her boring speech, everyone around her was snoring. She snapped her fingers, and everyone woke up.

"Did you guys listen to a single word I said?" she scoled.

"Yeah," lied Crash. The last thing he remembered before falling asleep was Margaret's birthdate.

"Anyways, what are you four doing here?" Coco asked.

"Nothing much, really," said Charles. "We were sent out here to retrieve your new friends and sent them back to the school! And we're gonna do it, right about...NOW!"

In a blink of an eye (if that's even possible) Charles and his friends swiped Flora and her friends and escaped.

"They got Flora and the others!" gasped Crash. "After them!" Crash, Cortex, Coco, and Nina split up and ran into the forest, while Aku and Uka went a different path.

* * *

Cortex was venturing through Gemstone Forest when he found Charles with Twist.

"Since this is the tenth chapter and stuff, I decided to make this exciting." With the snap of his fingers Charles summoned an audience of numerous gods and goddesses sitting in bleachers. A wrestling ring appeared in the center of the forest and Cortex, Charles and Justing Roberts in a toga was in it.

"This match, is a no holds barred challenge!" he announced. "In this corner, weighing 120 lb, Doctor Neo Periwinkle Cortex!"

"BOOOO!" the crowd shouted.

"WOOOOOT! GO CORTEX!" cheered Twist, who was in another set of bleachers. Everyone threw stuff at Twist, knocking him off.

"And in this corner, weighing 125 lb, Charles the Chameleon!"

"WOOOOOT!" the crowd cheered.

"BOOOOOO! YOU SUCK!" shouted Twist. Everyone knocked him off again.

And soon the bell rang. Cortex and Charles got themselves in an armbar, until Charles grew a needle out of his knee and jabbed Cortex in the place were no man NEVER wants to feel pain at with it. Cortex shrieked as he clutched his jewels and fell to the ground, rolling in pain.

Then Charles jabbed Cortex all over the place. Once Cortex got up from all this pain, he loaded his ray gun and shot it at Charles. The chameleon grew wings and flied.

"How does he do that?" he wondered.

Soon Charles flew down and Cortex dodged him. The N head shot Charles once more and this time, he nailed him. Charles was crashing to the ground until he, well, landed in the ring. Cortex pinned Charles, but the sly reptile got out before the two count. Charles grew needles all over the place and began chasing Cortex. The N head ran into the bleachers, where he found Twist.

"Please HELP me!" he implored.

"Fine, fine," Twist groaned. "Just follow my lead, O.K?"

The two entered the ring. Charles still had needles prtroding out of his body.

"Hey, Charles!" called out Twist. The needles went back into Charles body and he turned around to Cortex and Twist. Twist turned a dail on his speaker head and music began playing out of speakers.

_Cortex & Twist: 5, 6, 7, 8..._

_(points fingers at Charles) Using our power in your face _

_(walks up to Charles) To send you back to a place (walks back) _

_Don't look at our crotches (points at crotch) while we synchronize our watches! (sychroniz__e imaginary watches while making beeping sounds) synchronized..._

_(pulls out keyblades, points them at Charles while running back and forth) _

_Go away Charles, it's time for you to go away!_

_Twist: It's time for you to go to your doom! (points keyblade)_

_Cortex: Yeah, Charles, It's time for you to go to the moon!_

In an instant, Charles and the audience, including Justin Roberts, were sent to the moon?

"What did you just do?" Twist asked Cortex.

"I...sent him to the moon?" said Cortex.

"Your're supposed to send him to his doom, you idiot!"

"Well how the ^?%$#~! was I supposed to know?"

Cortex! Say that in a more K-rated tone!

"Fine," the N head groaned. "How the up arrow, question mark, percent, dollar sign, swiggly line, at exclamation point, exclamation point, was I supposed to know?"

"Nevermind," sighed Twist. "Let's go find the others."

* * *

Nina was flying from treetop to treetop by using her mechanical arms. Soon she encountered Zebrahead, who had Darnell hanging from a vine. Zebrahead tried to hypnotize Nina by using his mane but the Academy of Evil student punched Zebrahead in the nose. She then cut the vine Darnell was attached to rescuing him. Darnell shot three lightning bolts at Zebrahead, engulfing him in a static orb. He managed to break free.

"Hehe." With a single clap, Zebrahead stopped Nina and Darnell in time before they could attack. He then use his telekinic powers to move them into the sky and give them some serious brain damage. He then dropped them on the groud, until the two punched Zebrahead at the same time.

"Ow..." the master of time moaned as he passed out.

"Let's go," Nina said as the two continued their journey. Ash Ketchum from the Pokemon series threw a letter at Nina.

"C'mon, pick up the ZUBAT note, you POLIWHIRL!" he said.

But she didn't

"You..." Ash was about to say someting but he held his breath.

* * *

Coco began running through the forest until she found Kyo.

"Hey, mon," he said in his Jamaican accent. "I just sent your little friend Otto down this stream I'm standing next to. If you wanna go get 'em, you have to go through me first!"

"Bring it on!" said Coco as she got into her karate pose. She charged towards Kyo but the Jamaican conterattacked by shooting lava at her. Coco jumped over it and karate kicked Kyo sending him back. Kyo transformed into a flaming wheel and headed straight for Coco who jumped over him. He tried the move one more time but he came out fruitless. Then out of nowhere, Otto appeared.

"Stupid Kyo," he taunted. "Did you really think you cold dispose of me when I already have water powers?"

"Yes," Kyo answered jokingly.

"That was a rhectorical question."

"I know. That's why I answered it jokingly."

The two began fighting each other-Kyo sent waves of lave at Otto and Otto repeled it with water. It was Otto who came victorious sending Kyo back. The fiery Jamaican turned into a blazing fireball and headed for Coco, who kicked him into the sky.

"Looks like we'll be seeing the last of him," said Coco.

* * *

Crash was walking through the forest searching for his girlfriend when a breeze of blue zipped past him. That shade of blue turned out to be Sonic the Hedgehog.

"Hey, Sonic!" said Crash. "What've you been up to lately?"

"Nothing much, just taking a bunch of therpies," said Sonic."

_Flashback _

Two weeks prior to the Dark Fate_-dramatic music-_Sonic was in a random room lying on a bed. A therapist was next to him sitting in a wheelchair and drawing picturs of Hello Kitty on his notepad.

"So, Sonic," he began, "what comes in your mind when you think about Harry Potter?"

"Voldemort wearing a thong?" the hedgehog responded.

"This is going to be a LONG day."

_End of Flashback_

"What about you, Crash?" asked Sonic.

"I have to defeat these two forces of darkness from turning the entire earth evil. Now I have to rescue my new girlfriend from a bunch of evil uundergraduates. Wanna help?"

"Sure thing," replied Sonic as the two headed down the forest path. Ash Ketchum threw a note at Crash but he didn't pick it up.

"Why didn't you pick up the GOLDUCK not you GRAVELER?" Ash yelled.

"Calm down, Ash, it's just a note," motioned Brock, Ash's friend.

"Just a note?" Do you have any PIGLETT idea about how big this event will be? Why do you think I'm walking around here and pass the FLAREOM notes in the middle of this GOLBAT forest?"

"Party invitations?"

"Who cares about some SNORLAX party? All I care is that there's a bunch of ZUBAT people who don't have any GROWLITTHE idea about this event. What do you think about that, you LICKITUNG?

Brock began crying.

"Shut the MUK up, you WEEPINGBELL! Stop acting like an ABRA and pull yourself together! Now all we have to do is find a way out of this FARFETCH'D forest...HOLY STARYU, WHAT THE GYRADOSTS THAT?

Ash pointed at a comet, which was heading straight towards him.

* * *

The story was interupted by .

"Hello, readers!" he said in a cheery voice. "Why waste your time on a Big Mac or a Whopper when you can try my newest creation, the Perilous Oversized Oregano Pounder, abbreviated as P.O.O.P! It contains oregano, cheese, bacon, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, mustard, and ketchep. Also, there's two slices of 100% skunk meat...er I mean, beef! Try one today!"

*Not available at restaurants

* * *

Aku was floating through the forest when he saw Ash and Brock sprawled on the groud. Aku floated over to them.

"What happened here?" he asked.

"Comet...female cyborg...beat the ARBOK...out of us..." Ash moaned before passing out.

"THis cyborg person must be inflatrated with Malefor and Chantecx," thought Aku. "I must defeat her!"

So he floated through the forest, until he eventually found the person Ash was talking about. She had blonde hair and wore black eye liner. She also wore a black vest over a white blouse and back-and-white version of the leather skirts the Denver Broncos cheerleaders wear (I had nothing to describe the skirt, so I used the cheerleaders as a reference).

"What rights do you have to be here?" Aku snapped. "What's your name?"

"The name's Madison," the cyborg replied. "Do you know where I can find some crystals?"

"What do crystals have to do with anything?"

"Oh, well guess I'll have to fight you then." Madison pressed a butoon on her writst to scan Aku. "You're power level is only 1950. Not bad."

"Power Level?" Aku wondered. "I just hope Dragon Ball Z doesn't sue us."

Madison shot a white beam at Aku. Aku floated away from it and formed a body of trees. Madison then fired missles, all of which Aku grabbed and crushed.

"You're not bad-for an ancient," complimented Madison.

"You're not bad yourself," Aku complimented back before picking up Madison and throwing her on the groud. The cyborg rose up from the ground and fired several lightning bolts that soon dispensed. Darnell used his electrical powers to dispose the bolts, who was perched atop a tree. Nina was with him.

"Who are those two?" Madison wondered. "And how come that goth kid looks familiar?"

To answer that question, Nina leaped from the tree and punched the cyborg. Madison grew a rapier out of her left hand and soon the two began fighting. The cyboric female won the duel by slashing Nina's lefteye and shoving her into a tree.

"What are you gonna do know, girlie?" Madison thrusted her sword at Nina's neck. Then out of nowhere, appeared with a bazooka.

"Eat P.O.O.P, loser!" he yelled as he fired his burgers at Madison, who used her rapier handt to deflect them. Aku picked up Nina and put her next to Darnell.

"You watch NIna," he told Darnell. "I help N. Gin defeat this cyborg." Darnell nodded as Aku joined back in the battle.

N. Gin was doing a farily good job. He deflected every attack Madison threw at him and he would attack once he got his chance. Darenll was part of the fight too. Every electric attack Madison used he absobed it. Everything was going swell unti Madison brewed a sandstorm.

"SHE'S BREWED A SANDSTORM!" yelled . "RUN!" This was a bad idea, for the sandstorm trashed about.

"I may be able to clear away this sandstorm..." said Aku. "...if I had enough power."

Suddenly the sandstrom dispersed and and Aku were surrounded by horsemen, riding on black horses.

"This is a good thing, right?" asked Aku.

"Since when are horsemen a good thing," said Aku.

Aku punched several horsemen and robotic guts erupted out of 'em. One of the horsemen was charging towards and the rocket head Scientist shot him with his P.O.O.P He then shot the others.

"Time for you losers to eat organic P.O.O.P!" said as he upgraded his bazooka and went on a shooting ramage. This battle would ensue until the horsemen disappeared and Madison appeared.

"Until we met again, heroes!" she said before flying off.

"What was that all about?" wondered .

"I dunno," sighed Aku.

* * *

Crash and Sonic continued walking down a trail until they found Margeret. Flora was there too but her head was above the ground.

"What are you gonna do to her?" barked Crash. Margaret went in-depth about what she was going to do with Crash's girlfriend and a bunch of other crap. Everyone fell asleep. Once the speech was done, everyone awoke.

"So what are we waiting for?" said Sonic. "Let's do this thing!"

Sonic was having a difficult time Margaret. Since she has the power of earth, she could easliy dig holes. Sonic kept on chasing her, until he lost her.

"Where did she go?" he wondered, looking around.

Then Margaret appeared and she did something creepy. She dug her hand deep into her skin, pulled out a bone and pointed it at Sonic. Sonice grabbed a stick and the two were dueling until Sonic jabbed Margaret in the chest. She then disappeared into thin air as sand. Soon Crash came, holding Flora.

"Where were you two?" Sonic asked.

"We were making out," replied Flora Sonic puked.

* * *

Aku was levitating through the forest when he encountered a flying squirrel with an Altanta Braves cap, Altanta Hawks #2 jersey and a pair of Atlanta Falcons pants (apparently this guys likes Atlanta way too much).

"Shut up!" yeled the flying squirrel. "I'm Edgar, the flying squirrel!" Aku laughed at his name. With that, Edgar launched a harpoon at Aku out of his tail. Aku formed into a body of trees, which soon disintegrated due to his curse.

"This sucks," he said, which meant there was one other possible solution: Aku levitated about, screaming with Edgar shooting harpoons at him. He did this for about 30 minutes, until Uka appeared into the scene and bumped into his brother. There was a flash of light as Aku bounce back into a tree and formed a body out of it.

"I can form tree bodies now!" Aku exclaimed. "But if that's the case, then that means..."

"...the curse must have passed on to me!" said Uka.

Aku tried to grab Edgar, but the flying squirrel dodged him and flew back into the sky with some other comet. Crash and the others entered the scene and saw this happened.

"What was that?" Crash wondered.

"I have no idea," replied Aku. "But something tells me there's another evil force around here..."

* * *

Meanwhile, at Malefor's Lair, Malefor was sitting in his armchair. He pressed a button on the right arm, and a screen with a dark figure popped up.

"You're minion have failed to defeat the ancient masks I assigned them," Malefor told the mysterious person.

"Whatever," the figure replied in a geeky voice. "Anyways, I bribed this Pokemon loser named Ash to send the letters to that racing competition Velo (Crash Nitro Kart) was planning so we could test out my newest creation. He tried to get them to Crash and his accomplices, but he was unable to get them."

""But I already notified Velo about the competition. He even sent his cronies to capture Crash and company, and take them there!"

"Oh, whatever. I'm gonna go get a smoothie." The geeky figure left as the screen disappeared.

"Sometimes I wonder about that boy," Malefor facepalmed.

**End of Chapter 10**

* * *

_Coming up next..._

It's a racing competition like no other! Crash and friends must race through eight challenging courses, and the grand prize? 20 crystals, and an oppritunity to race against a racing legend? Who will prevail? Stay tuned to find out in **Chapter 11: Survivial to the Finish!**

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* * *

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Review and Happy New Year's!


	11. Author's Note

Hello readers,

Sorry that I haven't updated in over a half a year, but unfortunately I have an infinite writer's block that has prompted me to discontinue The Dark Fate -dramatic music-.

However, I am making a remake of the story, and it will involve the following changes:

-Crash will have his talking ability (and the chainsaw I gave him) stripped away for the remake. This was one of the reasons why the original is discontinued.

-All of the characters will remain in-character. Their personalities will stay the same, and will not be altered.

-Some of the randomness in the story will be removed so the plot won't be all over the place. Some elements will be kept the same.

-To prevent another serious writer's block, each chapter will be no more than 6,000 words. Please don't ask.

-Since we all know Christmas won't be coming anytime soon, I have replaced the Christmas special with a celebration of the 2011 NFL season kickoff. The chapter will take place in Green Bay, Wisconsin, and N. Gin's and N. Trance's alter egos will be changed to support the story. Hopefully, the chapter will be updated on September 8 – the day the kickoff begins.

So that's all the changes for the remake. I am considering changing the title, but if you have any title ideas, just post them in the reviews.

Sincerely,

CrashGuy01


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